tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3971077270766122919.post3694110230552754740..comments2023-09-05T08:45:22.572+01:00Comments on Bête de Jour: Gonzalo Otálora :: The Munter Who Made GoodLa Bêtehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05934460455824439786noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3971077270766122919.post-76639621436312292562008-09-23T07:40:00.000+01:002008-09-23T07:40:00.000+01:00I am apparently not an ugly woman, and I don't usu...I am apparently not an ugly woman, and I don't usually view myself as the same, but if being beautiful is all about having sex and relationships and long-term relationships, and being ugly is the antithesis to accomplishment of the same, as implied by a lot of this blog and the commenters, well, then Bete, you are actually ahead of me on the sex count and the relationship count, not really by choice on my part, either. The psyche is a funny thing. I've got ten years on you, too.<BR/><BR/>And I am sure that guy would have got teased and bullied at school, and it seems that many of us commenting know how that feels.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3971077270766122919.post-61069201786172348682008-07-02T08:08:00.000+01:002008-07-02T08:08:00.000+01:00Lots of stuff to comment on here but its nighttime...Lots of stuff to comment on here but its nighttime and I'm sleepy. Forgive me for being late.<BR/><BR/><BR/>Curly, you are gorgeous inside and out. If I was fucklexible (fuckably flexible - either sex) I would so want you. <BR/><BR/>Lauren, Timerous Beastie, Selena; I totally agree with you. That guy is not ugly in the least and it annoys me that he is generating conjecture and possible sympathy votes on the basis of HIS perceptions.<BR/><BR/>Show me any teenager that doesn't have image issues in high school, regardless of how objectively attractive, or otherwise, they are. Kids are cruel, it's crushing; you're not standard issue appealing. Most of us are lucky enough to be able to move on from this.<BR/><BR/>(As an aside, I fell in love with my boyfriend online. I suspect most people would not call him goodlooking -he's very overweight, and not classically featured) but it doesn't matter a damn to me. It was his personality that I wanted, and still want, and after nearly 18 months, it's his personality that I am going to marry. And yes, we've spent a lot of time together in the flesh as well so we both know that the personality and the physicality are inseparable.<BR/><BR/><BR/>I have teenage daughters: an automatic classification into the category of 'most selfish, hair product consuming, compulsory excessively shallow' individuals around. They say, and act up to it, that personality is most important in a relationship. <BR/><BR/>Like Carolina, this thrills me.<BR/><BR/>I sincerely hope that we are starting to see a change in actual and potential relationships at base levels, rather than the immediate visual aspect. <BR/><BR/>I think we are. The internet is changing and impacting so many aspects of our lives and our day to day routine activities, participating or not, that it makes sense to accept basic shifts in behaviour, with a few paradigms stirring up things on the way to adjustment.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3971077270766122919.post-84474725818059716882008-07-01T11:41:00.000+01:002008-07-01T11:41:00.000+01:00Curly, you’re lovely. Don’t be angry. Unless of co...Curly, you’re lovely. Don’t be angry. Unless of course it does you good. And self-acceptance is everything, yes. I think I’m approaching it myself, you know. I really do. Thanks for your thoughts. <BR/><BR/>Michael, really? You’re one of my favourites, you know. <BR/><BR/>Isabelle, I do know what you mean. You heartless swine. Just kidding. x<BR/><BR/>Carolina, yes! Thanks to you and your colleagues. And these shallow 17-year-old girls of which you speak. I love them. Please send them to me. <BR/><BR/>Thanks, Beastie. Maybe Selena is right though and it doesn’t really matter. If you feel ugly, and you feel persecuted because of it, then I guess you are. <BR/><BR/>Hi Lauren. Thanks, Lauren. Lovely Lauren. <BR/><BR/>Anon, that’s excellent! That made me bellow-laugh. Just what I needed. Thank you. STOP IT!<BR/><BR/>Selena, yes. I agree with you. You are very wise. Have a beautiful day yourself. <BR/><BR/>Anon, you read my goddamn mind. No one reads anymore. Boo hoo. Not no one, obviously, but next to no one. Oh well. At least you’re here. And Gonzalo read it too. And he liked it. So that’s good.La Bêtehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05934460455824439786noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3971077270766122919.post-21640407016103822902008-07-01T11:00:00.000+01:002008-07-01T11:00:00.000+01:00So many words, such a long post. Yet only 8 comme...So many words, such a long post. Yet only 8 comments. That doesn't seem fair. <BR/><BR/>So have another one, on me.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3971077270766122919.post-1255497915524701132008-06-30T17:41:00.000+01:002008-06-30T17:41:00.000+01:00I agree the guy is not ugly, now. He lucked out an...I agree the guy is not ugly, now. He lucked out and grew into his face, grew into his ugly and transcended. <BR/><BR/>That's not to say, that he wouldn't have gotten terribly teased as an adolescent. <BR/><BR/>Look at the picture again, to all you naysayers who compassionately say that he wasn't "ugly". <BR/><BR/>Seriously? If we're all honest we'd say, he did, indeed, fit the aesthetic criteria for ugly as a young man. If you think that's mean, well- I would rather have someone be kindly honest, then have someone try to sugar coat the truth of the matter.<BR/><BR/>Then again beauty is subjective. Indeed, some of you may have been able to see past the glasses, acne and big teeth to the beauty that lay within, then, as you do now. Who can truly say?<BR/><BR/>All I know is, at the time when you are tipping of over the edge of childhood and falling on your face in the mire of adulthood, is horrible to bear at best.<BR/>Youths trying to act like they think adults should, can break into their finest reserves of cruelty. Who are we to diminish his struggle- simply because he seems to have prevailed?<BR/><BR/>Everyone feels ugly at some point in time, why begrudge people their insecurities, whether they be past or present, real or imaginary? <BR/><BR/>I hope some of that made sense- I need some coffee...<BR/><BR/>Have a beautiful day everyone!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3971077270766122919.post-49379535650571859612008-06-29T19:21:00.000+01:002008-06-29T19:21:00.000+01:00Stop it.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYLMTvxOaeE...Stop it.<BR/><BR/>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYLMTvxOaeEAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3971077270766122919.post-78513269662509584182008-06-29T13:18:00.000+01:002008-06-29T13:18:00.000+01:00But he isn't ugly in the least bit!!Which makes me...But he isn't ugly in the least bit!!<BR/><BR/>Which makes me think....<BR/><BR/>YOU AREN'T EITHER!!<BR/><BR/>But I already knew that ; )Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3971077270766122919.post-69931227255985572102008-06-28T02:12:00.000+01:002008-06-28T02:12:00.000+01:00I completely agree with you: he's not ugly at all....I completely agree with you: he's not ugly at all. I felt slightly miffed. All right for him, not ugly at all, like "ugly" betty: actually very attractive, and so forth. But it's a great story anyway. I'm really happy to have stumbled on your lovely blog.Timorous Beastiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16006684419739506630noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3971077270766122919.post-7463730259669694292008-06-27T22:03:00.000+01:002008-06-27T22:03:00.000+01:00Yay, you wrote the piece. Some of my students who...Yay, you wrote the piece. Some of my students who helped with the translation will be happy to hear it was useful!!<BR/><BR/>And on another note, these two girls who helped are adorably pretty. They immediately asked if the "guy" I was doing this for was funny and smart. I said yes, very. They replied "So who gives a fuck if he's ugly. I'll take smart and funny any day over good looking. Smart and funny don't age; looks, well we all know how that turns out" And these are shallow 17 year old girls. It did warm my heart!Carolinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00438742252534407110noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3971077270766122919.post-74875491978053786712008-06-27T20:16:00.000+01:002008-06-27T20:16:00.000+01:00I'm still new here, even though I have read a lot....I'm still new here, even though I have read a lot. I don't want to belittle the abuse and damage you suffered as a result of your 'ugliness' while in your formative years, but something in me is sort of glad about it. I hope that doesn't come across as sounding peverse or uncaring , far from it, what I mean , is that those terrible experiences have shaped what you are , right now. And all I can see is an articulate, intelligent and interesting man.To me, at least, that's really all that matters. I hope you know what I mean. xxx<BR/>isabelleAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3971077270766122919.post-75030476750020327782008-06-27T18:15:00.000+01:002008-06-27T18:15:00.000+01:00"Feedback Friday is away."Clever."Feedback Friday is away."<BR/><BR/>Clever.Michaelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11603177124625711938noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3971077270766122919.post-53664245258913252462008-06-27T16:23:00.000+01:002008-06-27T16:23:00.000+01:00Being ugly is the absolute effing pits. Esp as a ...Being ugly is the absolute effing pits. Esp as a woman. Well surely it's worse as a woman. Women are meant to be lovely and feminine and gorgeous and fanciable. <BR/><BR/>There was a prime bitch at school - who irritatingly was called 'Pretty' (Honest to god), and she loved to remind me how ugly I was. She finally shut her lip-glossed-gob when I explained to her that without ugly people how would we know what beauty was? I provided the measure for her beauty and without me she'd just be plain and all people would notice about her was her huge nose and shallow personality. <BR/><BR/>Sobbing into the pillow is now thankfully at least 10 years behind me. I guess I've grown into my face and to a point accepted it. I think I just got tired of being upset at something I can't change. Tired of the utter self-loathing. I can now allow my photograph to be taken and hold back a retort if ever I'm paid a compliment (although the latter might induce a lip snarl). Old Ladies admire my curls. I was once told I had nice eyes. And some guy in a pub once said 'Flash that smile at me again so I can put the memory in my wank-bank'. What a fantastic compliment!<BR/><BR/>You often make me laugh and often make me question dear Bete, but today all this ugly talk has made me sad. It just raises up uncomfortable feelings........and anger. Yeah i feel flipping angry about being given the ugly gene. <BR/><BR/>Ah well that's life and we're all ugly in some respect and gorgeous in others. And some of us are literary wonders who bring laughter and warmth and discussion to our lives (that's you that is).<BR/><BR/>I thought of not-Keith yesterday as I stood in front of a Lucien Freud SP. Hope the co-hab is working out and you're both having a damn good time every now and again.curlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08713010475587024780noreply@blogger.com