tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3971077270766122919.post5072400788732722604..comments2023-09-05T08:45:22.572+01:00Comments on Bête de Jour: Ugly Stuff No One Really Wants To KnowLa Bêtehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05934460455824439786noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3971077270766122919.post-28126937357323188172009-01-25T14:21:00.000+00:002009-01-25T14:21:00.000+00:00In the absence of feed-back friday, and in honour ...In the absence of feed-back friday, and in honour of the impending Burns Night celebrations, I'd like to share a little ditty with you that's been doing the text rounds here in dreary old Northern Ireland. It goes thus... (ehhhh, it helps if ye git intil scottish mode furst, ken?) <BR/>"Rabbie Burns wuz cumin hame fae the pub when he rounds a corner and sees two folk goin' at it! The poliss arrives an' says 'til Rabbie he'll have to go to court to testify against them. At court, the judge asks him what he'd seen... "Ah saw two people fuckin'!" says he.<BR/>"You can't use that language in court" exclaims the judge.<BR/>"Weeeel..." says Rabbie "Ah wuz cummin' back fae Brigadoon,<BR/>When Ah saw twa people lyin' doon,<BR/>Her skirt wuz high, his arse wuz bare,<BR/>His cock wuz in amongst her hair,<BR/>His balls were swingin' to an' fro- An' if that's no fuckin', then Ah don't know!"<BR/>...<BR/>Well, made me chuckle anyway!<BR/>Jolly Burn's Nacht!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3971077270766122919.post-20932145270378141542009-01-25T02:48:00.000+00:002009-01-25T02:48:00.000+00:00Velvet bricks -that's what my ma calls biggies tha...Velvet bricks -that's what my ma calls biggies that slip out easily.<BR/><BR/>Ann Anon<BR/><BR/>WV verrucakAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3971077270766122919.post-55314502026890429022009-01-24T14:05:00.000+00:002009-01-24T14:05:00.000+00:00Pearl, I've never heard the term 'lady garden' bef...Pearl, I've never heard the term 'lady garden' before and I am going to steal it. That's marvellous.Shimacathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13310854234183039834noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3971077270766122919.post-29731705486279510422009-01-23T09:54:00.000+00:002009-01-23T09:54:00.000+00:00Sudders, my boyfriend calls poos "biggies". I've n...Sudders, my boyfriend calls poos "biggies". I've never heard anyone else use the term, and nor has he, so I shall have to tell him he's found a friend in poo-terms. He'll be delighted. His family are incredibly posh, so I've always thought of biggies as posh poos.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3971077270766122919.post-54473899015092251592009-01-22T23:05:00.000+00:002009-01-22T23:05:00.000+00:00Gah. That's brought back memories of taking someon...Gah. That's brought back memories of taking someone else's poop to be analysed. Let's just say that I'm a very dutiful daughter. It's also made me think of smear tests, which are decidedly un-erotic. I have SEXUAL ABUSE SURVIVOR written all over my medical notes, so the nurse always locks the door to the smear-test-room, which is supposed to make me feel better. Oddly enough, being half naked and locked in a room with a stranger who is poking around in my lady garden does not fill me with joy.<BR/><BR/>I'm glad your bits are all okay. Good work.<BR/><BR/>PearlAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3971077270766122919.post-19351108300647293202009-01-22T21:55:00.000+00:002009-01-22T21:55:00.000+00:00i got to mail in my poo when i had that tested - w...i got to mail in my poo when i had that tested - well, it was a poo stripe on a bit of cardboard. i was almost as excited about putting poo in the post!<BR/><BR/>seeing the monkey on fire made me hungry. that's just wrong.<BR/><BR/>when i had my girl bits examined with Buzzy McTwatprobe, they used a condom, but the gel was cold. it wasn't awful... shame all exams aren't as pleasant as the one you had!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3971077270766122919.post-42746846882673178262009-01-22T20:53:00.000+00:002009-01-22T20:53:00.000+00:00"No biggy"Was this an intentional pun? When I was ..."No biggy"<BR/><BR/>Was this an intentional pun? When I was very little, my mum used to call poos biggies, but I've not come across anyone else using the term.<BR/><BR/>Ha. I'd forgoteen about that. The word "biggy" has nothign to do with bigness for me, it is istead a rather onomatopoeic word for something soft, brown and squelchy.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3971077270766122919.post-43182868791654145292009-01-22T19:45:00.000+00:002009-01-22T19:45:00.000+00:00Ugh. I read that post as I was eating dates. Small...Ugh. I read that post as I was eating dates. Small brown dates. Thanks for that. <BR/><BR/>The security word is 'imetswo' which is perhaps quite evocative of a newly-discovered state, when your face is screwed up and so are your toes. Screwed up as in wrinkled in distate, not screwed up as in completely neurotic. Neurotic. Not erotic.<BR/><BR/>Can I stop now?Shimacathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13310854234183039834noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3971077270766122919.post-88680638407283953502009-01-22T15:31:00.000+00:002009-01-22T15:31:00.000+00:00Oh, that's funny. Yes, the poop was in a transpare...Oh, that's funny. <BR/><BR/>Yes, the poop was in a transparent tube in a transparent plastic bag with POOP! written on it in big brown letters.La Bêtehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05934460455824439786noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3971077270766122919.post-35453319715719649172009-01-22T15:06:00.000+00:002009-01-22T15:06:00.000+00:00Oh, handing-in your poo. Please tell me the medica...Oh, handing-in your poo. Please tell me the medical service has enough sense of humour to make the container see through.<BR/><BR/>After I had my Snip, I had to hand in some, I'll say it, spunk.<BR/><BR/>I was expecting to be taken to a small room full of porn, and with a lock on the door. Which, let's face it, is quite a nice day out. <BR/><BR/>But no. You have to Produce the sample at home, and bring it in.<BR/><BR/>I lived a short bike ride from the hospital, but it was up a steep hill. I handed the sample over, all flushed and out of breath. I bet she thought I'd done it in the car park.Stuart Galliganhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16553418814568002767noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3971077270766122919.post-91951234199909998732009-01-22T14:55:00.000+00:002009-01-22T14:55:00.000+00:00Eerily appropriate, yes. At the place I went they ...Eerily appropriate, yes. <BR/><BR/>At the place I went they ask you to hold the old man back with a sheet of medical kitchen roll. Makes the whole thing feel even more erotic frankly.La Bêtehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05934460455824439786noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3971077270766122919.post-4174694673078348322009-01-22T14:34:00.000+00:002009-01-22T14:34:00.000+00:00My own "ultrasonic" appointment a few years ago (I...My own "ultrasonic" appointment a few years ago (I could never remember the right word) was conducted by a genial, mid-50s grey-haired bloke who kept asking me to "just hold the old man a little further over to the left, please".<BR/><BR/>The whole tongue thing did not occur to me.<BR/><BR/>[My comment moderation word verification thingy for this comment is "fecas", which seems very appropriate.)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3971077270766122919.post-38129821539685228032009-01-22T06:24:00.000+00:002009-01-22T06:24:00.000+00:00I was fascinated reading this blog...then again, I...I was fascinated reading this blog...then again, I'm a nurse wannabe. <BR/><BR/>Yay for healthy testicles!Some Chilean Womanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06238851746037566411noreply@blogger.com