Friday, 5 September 2008

Feedback Friday :: I Killed the Honey Monster (And Burned His Bloated Corpse)

bulk :: 16st 7 (phew)
cigarettes smoked :: 0
alcohol units taken :: 22 (oh come on, I’m not a bloody monk)
meals skipped :: 6
apples eaten :: 12
bananas eaten :: 7
Sugar Puffs eaten :: 0
gym sessions :: 4 (suck on that, non-believers!)
swims swum :: 1
games of tennis almost played :: 1
games of tennis played :: 0
award nominations :: 1
visits to Brighton :: 1 and 1 pending

Happily, I feel like things are going in the right direction again. I’m really enjoying the gym. I enjoy the ache in my muscles the next day, the feeling that my body is actually alive and feeling how it was meant to feel. Dr Payne was right about me having soggy muscles. Already though, after just a few visits to the gym, they feel less soggy. I’ve still got heaps of fat all over me of course, but these things take time. Hopefully half an hour on a bike three times a week and lots of swimming will chip away at that. It’s good. I feel good. Even better than I did when I was getting into the running, as now my whole body is beginning to thrum.

Which is why I threw out the rest of my Sugar Puffs. There weren't many left to be honest - maybe enough for one large bowl - but it was a symbolic gesture. I adore Sugar Puffs, but they are very much comfort food, and I'm sure they're sickeningly bad for you. Even the name for God's sake, Sugar Puffs. It's like calling something Fat Balls. Or Starch Nuggets. I'm surprised they don't rebrand them. Honey Puffs would make a lot more sense, especially as they already have the Honey Monster... Anyway, it's no longer my concern. I'm done with them. The Honey Monster is dead to me.

Also, on the work front, things have picked up. I’m doing some research for a writer. I can’t really say any more than that, as it's a secret, but it’s fun. The money is rubbish and I could be making thrice as much writing web copy for an investment bank, but I actually enjoy it, and that’s an unusual feeling. In fact, I can’t remember the last time I enjoyed something I did for money.

And as if that weren’t enough, I’ve been nominated for an award. An award which I will not win unless around a thousand people vote for me. An award which therefore, I will not win. Ah well. One day I will win an award. One day. I’m tempted to join up and vote for myself, but I shan’t. I’m also tempted to upload a little clicky badge like this:

My site was nominated for Best Blog About Stuff!

But I shan’t. I’m happy with my one vote. Thank you, Melk. (It’s you isn’t it, Morag?)

OK, I’m done. Now I must get on with some work.

This weekend I’m off to Brighton for sex.

What about you? You doing anything nice? Go on, let me know in the comments...

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Anonymous said...

Hurrah for having work that you enjoy!

Not much interesting here, but I have newly-blue hair. Let joy be unconfined. (Also, am I really the first commenter on this post? Gosh.)

Timorous Beastie said...

Sorry, I tried to click on your clicky thing and was forced to register, giving all manner of private info in order to do so, then it didn't work anyway and I still couldn't vote.

La Bête said...

Congratulations on the blue hair, TC. Now all you need is the green dress and the red pearls and your Marge Simpson transformation will be complete.

TB, bugger. Thanks for trying. I'm going to try myself now and see if there's something wrong. Damn you, Vanity!

Anonymous said...

You will never get a million votes, that voting site is shite. And it's such a pity 'cos I would have done... may yet, if it ever fucking works. You don't mind having votes from someone who's 108 years old do you?

This weekend I plan to have sex too, with my own beast who's making the trek to visit me in my lonely tower.

Keep up the good work.

truelateral said...

Do you find, as I do, that Sugar Puffs make your urine smell like Sugar Puffs? It's uncanny.

This weekend I am taking Squeaker to Hereford, fine place, to visit a friend. There will be no sex, just a few bottles of red wine, if I have anything to do with it. Enjoy your seaside shag.

Anonymous said...

Oh for fuck's sake!I tried to vote on that rubbish site FOUR times, and every time I tried to register they told me my dob was invalid.I did exactly what they told me to do, despite considerable irritation at so much information being demanded.I'm sure you would have won an award if the voting process wasn't so shite.Oh well.Great to hear you feeling so much better.

Anonymous said...

I shall try and vote for you when I need to procrastinate. Which will be quite soon, I would imagine.

I'm going to my great aunt's 85th birthday party, where I shall fulfill my role as the freaky foreign cousin and where there will be no sex at all. Not for me, anyway. However, I have new glasses, so that's nice. Thanks for asking.

Anonymous said...

Looking forward to reading your Brighton Beach Memoirs.

I have an All Access wristband to the Virgin Festival this weekend, and I intend to use it.

Aside from complaining about the lack of actual virgins in attendance, anything you want me to say to Richard Branson, on your behalf? :)


Anonymous said...

Hooray for new hair!!

I just recently let my friend (who's a cosmetologist in training) have at my coif. She did a great job-and has given me the most "HIP" hair cut of my life. A hair cut, that I am entirely sure I'm not cool enough to sport around town.

I do not own any skinny jeans.

Namely, because you have to be skinny to wear them and I... well, I, am not skinny enough-yet!

To everyone who tried to vote and then wanted to blow the internet up in frustration for thwarting their efforts-I admire your tenacity! Yet, I will opt to save myself the irritation.

Sorry, Bete- I hope you understand.

As to your Brighton Booty Call- I'm insanely jealous...not of you and her, but of people who have sex in general.

I'm pretty sure I've forgotten where everything goes. In which case, it would be a rather comical disaster if I attempted it. *sigh*

So, it's a good thing, really...ahem, where can I get some of those Sugar Puffs?

P.S.- I know exactly what you mean about your body being alive after the gym. It's funny, but you never realize how out of synch you are with how your body wants to feel, until you've left sore and aching.

Anonymous said...

you've <-- grrr..bah!

insert *you're*

Anonymous said...

Hereford! WOW! My personal forgotten boredom for the first 18 years of my life.

I cycle at the weekend too. Member of Dulwich Paragons.

The Saturday ride would be good for you. Group exercise *really* helps motivation.

Anonymous said...

Me too! Bum. That is, I tried to vote and it wasn't having it. Sorry bout that. This weekend my parents are coming to visit me as it's my birthday on Wednesday, no doubt mother will do my garden (I'm an ill person so can't do it myself unfortunately) and my dad will do the crosswords in the Telegraph. Hopefully they'll talk to me too and I'm sure mum will want to feed me up and slobber over me when they leave. Oh the delights of parents. Maybe I'll get a birthday card too. Did I say it's my birthday soon?!

Anonymous said...

Really pleased to hear about your gymnastic exploits. Hope your body keeps thrumming.

I'll be taking part in a 14k trailrunning race in the Lake District;

It sounds absurd, but is actually a wonderful way to spend a Saturday afternoon. Exercise and beautiful scenery, what more could you want?

Anonymous said...

i shall devote time to beating through the voting widgets... so far, it doesn't want to let me register, but i've got 3 laptops (computers, that is...) and should be able to get at least one connected...

congrats on a fresh start! take it as a weekly challenge - next week shall be a good week as well! PS: Sex burns calories. Lots if you do it enthusiastically!

Carnalis said...

i did it .. i signed up and everything (no-one noticed it was fake details).

And then i voted.

I expect i will experience some sort of scorching sex, at some point over the weekend. Enjoy!

Tea said...

What an interesting yet mysterious blog! I would vote for you. Your writing is very entertaining and I shall be back for more of it. You are far too kind in that compliment! But such a sweet thing to say...thank you.
You`re so lucky to have work you enjoy.


Tea said...

Well, now I see it`s clickable....I`m off to sign up and cast a vote :)

Mrs. Hall said...

After I have a good workout, and my muscles are all sore, I often complain to Mr. Hall.

To which he replies, "That's the doughnuts screaming."

hee hee


Mrs. Hall

Mina McKay said...

Fat Balls...hahahha....Fat Balls....that made me laugh!

Sharon said...

The new joy in my life is that I've found ORGANIC frosted flakes cereal. Yes, sure, they are still 80% sugar. But it's ORGANIC. That's healthy, right?

La Bête said...

Congratulations on the sex, Cat. Sex is excellent, isn’t it? I really like it. Better than Sugar Puffs.

TL, I’ve never noticed, I’m afraid. You’re tempting me to invest in another box to check it out but I am resisting you. Hope you enjoyed Hereford, and maybe had a bit of a red wine-inspired fumble while you were there.

Sorry, Caroline. Nothing worse than an invalid dob. Thanks for trying anyway.

Happy birthday to your great aunt, Pearl! And congratulations on your new glasses. May you see many wonderful things through them.

Hi, le W! What an exotic name you have. Are you really 6’9”? It’s probably a bit late now, but I would like you to grab Branson by the sweater and tell him to smarten up his act. Thank you. Hope you had fun.

Congratulations on your hair, Selena, and if it’s sex you’re after, I recommend you have some. If I can get someone to have sex with me, than I reckon anyone can, particularly a lovely lady like yourself.

Hey, Mr F. Crikey, those Paragons look slightly scary to me. It all looks awfully serious.

Hi Aiko. I’m sorry to hear that you’re an ill person. Illness sucks. I hope you get better if you can and I wish you a super, joyful birthday. I hope you get some lovely surprises.

Hi Anonymous. Oh no! I followed that link and I see that your event was cancelled. I’m really sorry. I hope you did something special to compensate. Bloody weather.

Daisyfae, hello! Long time. Yes, one must always be enthusiastic about sex, otherwise, really, what’s the point? Having said that, I’m no expert. I’ve never been in a relationship long enough to have unenthusiastic sex. Maybe it’s just as good.

Thanks, Carnalis. Scorching sex eh? That sounds slightly painful. Still... rrrrrrrr.

Hello, TAMIMG. Thanks for dropping by. I love your cats. What’s that on your head, please?

Mmmmm, doughnuts.

Hi, Mina. Good.

Anything organic is good for you, Sharon. That’s a fact. Oh my God.

Anonymous said...

I'm sure I could too. However whenever I've tried to have sex, just for the sake of having it, i'm left feeling kind of hollow after. Sated, nonetheless empty

I guess I just haven't found the right booty to call. ;-)

Don't worry I'll keep looking, thanks for the encouragement.