Friday, 5 December 2008

Friday Feedback :: Looking Forward


bulk :: 15st 7
gym visits :: 2
cigarettes :: 2 (eek!)
medical moments :: 2


I’m stealing moments of unprotected neighbourhood wireless here and there where I can, skulking in internet pissoirs when I can’t. A pound an hour, a tenner a day. Getting on with work, looking forward.

Life is suddenly going very very quickly. Slow down, you bugger, say I, but does it listen? Does it arse.

I’ve got two very important weekends coming up. Next weekend I’m moving, leaving Peckham. To be perfectly honest, this can’t really come fast enough. At first I was fond of its no frills, Brixton-lite, urban grit, and I loved Khan’s Bargain Store – their website says it all really, Peckham to a tee – but now, after a few short months, I’ve had enough. Mostly I’ve had enough of trudging up greasy streets thick with McDonald’s packaging and coke cans. Oh, and people spitting, inches from my face. It happens all the time in Peckham. It’s like spitting is perceived as a social grace here. Animals.

Oh, and yesterday I was in Morrisons (I'm not proud), looking at the cheap DVDs (yeah, whatever) and this guy walked up and stood in front of me, his back inches from my face, totally blocking the DVD display. I laughed, in a disbelieving way. He turned to stare at me. He was large, taller than I am and and much more muscular. He already looked really offended. We had the following conversation:

Me: [gesturing] Excuse me. Cheers.

He says nothing and glares at me like I am a chicken and he is about to wring my neck.

Me: I was looking at the DVDs.

He glances at his friend who guffaws. He seriously looks like he is about to attack me.

Me: Are you alright?

Him: I was until I saw you.

Me: [sighing] I tell you what then, here's a suggestion: why don't you get out of my way, go somewhere far away with your retarded friend here and just have a long, hard think about why you're such an unspeakable cunt? Eh? Why don't you do that before you get hurt?

Him: [his expression changing to one of creeping fear and dawning realisation that he is in the presence of a superior being] OK, mate. Sorry. You've taught me a very valuable lesson about life. Thank you. Oh, and before I go, here, have a fiver.

Actually, as you may have already imagined, some of that conversation I made up. It actually ended with me skulking off, remembering what someone said in the comments here yesterday, taking deep, calming breaths and thinking that soon I'd be gone, away from this vicious neanderthal and his rotten South London ilk.

Actually, thinking about it, I don’t think I’ve ever been so eager to move before in my life. A week to go and I’m already packed. Everyone who needs to be informed has been informed and everything is in place. In eight days' time, I will be gone.

This weekend however, I'm going a little bit further south for something much, much more important. Which I’m not going to tell you about. Not yet anyway.

Oh, and by the way, I haven’t got AIDS!

Hurrah!

Now you. What are you up to this weekend? Anything interesting?



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9 comments:

Inwardly Confused said...

I hope you have fun!.
This weekend I shall be mostly geting angry that the fuckers who owe me money for work done who haven't paid me...I have been on such a roller coaster of rage today I am exhausted. Trying to explain that when you say pay day is the 5th then payday should be the 5th and not 'oh the 5th but it might take 48 hours to clear' GRRRRRR, another weekend of no money because someone else fucked up.....oh dear God is it gin o clock yet?
Have good time for me as well Stan.

somechileanwoman said...

Yay for no Aids!

Going dancing with my gay uncle and his partner. We live in Utah and they like to go to straight clubs so they take me that way they look straight -WTF?! Och, they pay for me and damn it, I love to shake it.

Victoria said...

Tomorrow I'm going to take my daughter to the shops and on Sunday we're off to see the Wizard of Oz. *polishes ruby slippers*

Misssy M said...

Wishing you a speedy week.

The Flying Martinis are buying our Christmas tree far too bloody early as usual.

Clare Sudders said...

Nothing interesting. Waiting for a woman to come and pick up the trampoline I advertised on Freeserve. Taking my son to a horrendous purpose-built play palace. Maybe. Maybe not. Sulking about loss of sticky labels.

Anonymous said...

DO NOT START SMOKING AGAIN! You will regret it and have to start all over again. Be strong!

Pearl said...

I've just got back from the Grassington Dickensian Christmas Festival, which was very nice and snowy. The boyfriend is here for the weekend, which is always good. Tomorrow, however, is Christingle, which means my annual panic attack brought on by 60 children rampaging around the church with lit candles shoved into oranges.

And hooray for no AIDS. I need to get me one of those tests before I can get married to my lovely virginal chap without feeling guilty.

daisyfae said...

moving is therapeautic. so is drinking - but moving is better because you wake up and you're still moved...

glad you weren't beaten by the fuckwit. that's a good thing.

i'm wrapping up a Scuba diving trip with a friend. spent two days diving around 30 feet underwater with a giant light looking at catfish as big as my dog... but other than that - and drinking myself into oblivion at the hotel free happy hour - not much...

thetombstone said...

Congratulations on not having AIDs. At the weekend I helped a friend with his Dad's book launch, handing out bookmarks in the cold and the like. Fun stuff.