Friday, 13 February 2009

Valentine's Day Cancelled :: A Dead Fox Stole My Heart

Sorry for the piss-poor blogging of late. Couple of excuses: hard work on book (up every day at 6!); and the slow, painful collapse of everything I ever believed in.

I know, I know.

Which is to say, Morag and I have split up.



One day I may tell you the story of the dead fox. It was extraordinarily poignant and in effect helped us sign the death warrant.

This was yesterday. Timing, as ever, impeccable.

I don't have much else to say about it. Certainly nothing that I haven't already said here.

So yeah, Valentine’s Day is cancelled this year. As is the rest of February. I shall be getting back on the horse in March. And not before.

In the meantime, please, even if you feel it, please do not say ‘I told you so’. You know who you are. Thanks.

Oh, and happy Valentine’s Day. May a leather-clad Cupid coat each of your erogenous zones with a heady mix of lubricant, bremelanotide and paprika.

Have fun!

See you in a couple of weeks.

x



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65 comments:

Amy said...

Oh. Oh, shit. Shit. I'm so sorry.

Timorous Beastie said...

Well, you tried... Hope your heart sings again soon.

Some Chilean Woman said...

Sending many kisses and licks your way.

Misssy M said...

So sorry to hear that, Bete.

Our Glamorous Heroine said...

I'm very, very sorry to hear that.
But now you can do that bravely throwing yourself into your work thing and write the greatest piece of blog-related literature known to man. Or throw yourself into a pub, which is somewhat less noble, but what I'd do.
All the best.

Alright Tit said...

Dude.

How odd that, when reading that post, I found myself suddenly leaping to your defence in my head, hurting on your behalf, planning to come over for a tea-fuelled debrief and wanting to set up a 'Cancel Valentines Day In Honour of Bete de Jour' group on Facebook. All despite having never met you.

You are ace. This is all you need to know.

x

Pearl said...

Oh Bête. I'm so sorry. Crap. Just hunker down and ignore Valentine's Day. It's all a load of crap anyway. I'm going on a composting course, so my day will, quite literally, be a load of crap.

La Bête said...

Thank you so much, all of you. It feels less bad with every comment, it really does.

You steady on, Carla, with your licks. I tell you, if I wasn't off internet romance for good, I'd be on a plane to Chile as we speak. (Or wherever you are. I'd find out first, before I got on the plane.)

Fingers crossed, OGH. I'll be in the pub later for sure. Meanwhile taking regular breaks to do some Wii boxing. Very therapeutic. And good for my lazy, restless arms.

Thanks, Lisa, and Pearl, compost something for me. Why do you need to go on a course though? I thought you just filled a barrel with cabbage leaves and egg-shells.

Speaking of which, it's boiled egg time. The king of comfort food.

dan said...

Shit, this sucks. Let us know how we can keep your spirits up, dan

Pearl said...

When your bloke refuses to sleep with you until you get married, and there is no sign of that happening any time soon, you find creative ways to get dirty together. Also, I'm hoping someone will explain to me what the hell I'm meant do with the barrel of crap once it's full. And there's a free lunch. Sold.

Alison Eales said...

Ouch. I'm sorry to hear that.

s'hen said...

sigh

I'm genuinely sorry to read this.

Take care x

Anonymous said...

Bonjour la Bête,
I know more or less what you might be feeling, and I sympathize with you as much as I can.
Think about your book now.
Uncle Did

confused said...

sorry bete you must be feeling poo hope things get better for you soon.

Shimacat said...

You know, one of the best ways to mend a broken heart is to adopt something four-footed and furry, which meows and will love you unreservedly when you feed it.

I'm sorry about your break-up. May the sun shine for you again soon, and when it does, I hope there's a little cat curled up in that patch of sunshine which is bathing your room.

Catofstripes said...

aw shucks. Hugs and all that.

daisyfae said...

so very sorry. as one who is actively fighting against "letting go" and taking a chance on love, i so admire you for trying... i'm too chickenshit to even bother.

sorry about the fox, too.

AndrewM said...

Stuff the fox.

But don't mount it!

Meantime, get down the pub sharpish. Where's that Keith weirdo when you want him?

Purest Green said...

I set loose my cyber hug upon you. *Squeeze.*

Wisewebwoman said...

Oh my heart hurts for you BDJ, you do not deserve this crushing disappointment.
I keep thinking how much absolutely fabulous life experiences you've had in this past year. I bet you wouldn't trade them for anything.
And we only grow through pain and suffering.
That sucks but it's the truth.
You're getting ready for The One. Lucky woman.
XO
WWW

Penelope said...

Oh bollocks! I am sorry.
Love it a bitch on a broomstick I reckon. (Not that I'm bitter and twisted, or anything...much.)
Onwards and upwards sweetheart :o)

notkeith said...

Fucking miles away.

(Chances of this comment appearing directly under AndrewM's: 0)

Non Je Ne Regrette Rien said...

l'amour n'existe pas.

Clare Sudders said...

Commiserations, it's a horrible place to be in.

On a more upbeat note, that thing about leather-clad cupids and paprika? Genius.

Anonymous said...

sorry it didn't work out, mate. thinking of you, for what it's worth.

valentines is a crock of shite. x

gullybogan said...

There's a dead bird on my front lawn.

The smoke from the bushfires must have confused it, and it flew into the house wall.

Maybe your dead fox could come and eat my dead bird.

Otherwise i'll have to go and put it in the green waste bin.

Ian said...

Oh that sucks. Wish I could say something that would help.

Luka said...

There there (strokey strokey).

Better to have loved and lost and not snuffed it like the fox than to have loved and lost *and* then snuffed it like the fox.

Valerie said...

It is the suck! I am so sorry to hear this news. The timing is the worst of course. Though when is it good? Bah. Will lift a glass to you tonight in hopes of a better year...

La Bête said...

Hahahahaha, you will never guess what. i have just got back after an uproarisous outrageous eveneing and I am going to leave these mistakes in because it's more authentic ---- I want to ssay this: ::


astonishing unbelievable noght tonight

coming back now to these messages is very VERY special.

Excellent.

Truly excellent.

I love you all. Genuinely.
xxx

(I think I will reply better tomorrow because some of thse replies made me wooop.)

x

La Bête said...

Oh - and HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY - fuckshit or not. Ejoy.

nnn

Tim Footman said...

I still think "Morag" sounds like a barbaric alien race in Blake's Seven.

"Where's Vila? Oh no, the Morag have taken him back to their cave on the other side of this quarry in Dorset for lunch."

le w said...

Fuckuary 14th, fine. BUT PLEASE do not cancel all of the month!!

I'm going through a heartbreak too, and feel consoled reading you :(

PS: Heartache. It's what makes the jukebox play.

xow

La Bête said...

Sorry. Entire month gone.


Sorry.

oatmeal girl said...

Here's a big, long, snuggly hug. One can always use a big long snuggly hug, in good times or bad, and if you've already had too many than stash this one in your big-snuggly-hug box for when you feel like you're running short.

Zoe said...

I'm really sorry.

I got dumped on 14th Feb 1991, which fucked up this hallmark holiday for quite a few years.

Canuckian's Evil Twin said...

nothing to say that hasn't already been said.

*HUGS*

glad you had an uproarisous outrageous eveneing! x

cind said...

I'm very sorry to hear that Bete.
I agree with Alright Tit, your blog alone shows what a splendid man you are. I'm relieved I did not celebrate valentines day.

Vulgar Wizard said...

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, paprika!

Lily Lane said...

Feel better soon xxx

Anonymous said...

Heartily know/ When half-gods go/ The gods arrive.

sympathies xx

La Bête said...

God. I can't believe I left drunken comments on my own blog. I didn't even get the chance to moderate myself. Bah.

Thanks all again for your loveliness.

Incidentally, today is last few bits and bobs collection day. It promises to be highly emotional. Ugh. But then that's it. Before I know it, it'll be time for another fresh start.

anitakrishlee said...

I'm so sorry. It sucks...big time but know that in a little while you'll be feeling on top of the world again. Hugs.

Laura said...

Ohhh, much sympathy. There's not much more to say other than the banal "time heals" stuff.

Anonymous said...

That is indeed dirty rotten nastiness, Béte, and no mistake.

I'm really sorry to hear that it didn't work out.

But just look at all these cyber types sending you hugs, licks and kisses. That's got to help, right?

In fact, here you go, have another couple of licks, on me (as it were).

Now, isn't that better. Isn't it?

Anonymous said...

Damnations, I didn't mean to be anonymous there. Those delicious licks were from me.

Wellington

La Bête said...

Thanks, Wellington. You're right too. It's almost worth it for all this sympathy. I'll never whinge again.

Larry Teabag said...

Sorry to hear it - always a horrid time. You're being promised a lot of licks in this thread. Count me in! Hopefully it'll help cure my tongue fungus.

iLL Man said...

Frenzied sleep-wanking at 3am can do that to a relationship.

Better to have loved and lost than to have taken out a subscription to Razzle. That's what I keep telling myself.

Whatever you do, don't pine.

TH said...

Oh no! I am so sorry. Alrighttit said it all really, and that other one that said get a kitten (mine is chewing my left hand right now, so am typing only with my right.) Get a kiiten. A really small RSPCA rescue one. I know it's hard to believe but they really do make everything brilliant. Life is so much nicer. x

iLL Man said...

I tried the kitten thing.

Damned beast just gave me indigestion...

;D

Selena said...

People have told me (in the past) that it's better to have loved and lost and all that jazz, at the time I told them to Stuff it and stuff it with purpose! However, in hindsight- I have to admit that they were right, but I was also right in telling them off. At least you had a relationship and it was good for a time...there, now you can proceed to tell me off. It's all part of the healing process.

My heart goes out to you and your pain. I'm not going to offer anymore Hugs, Licks or kisses- you've had plenty. Your drunk with it!

However, I will say that if it were possible, I'd offer you a real shoulder to lean on," really- I would, but a virtual one is all that I have. Wait! Does that make it sound like I don't have any shoulders at all? Because I do, I most definitely have shoulders... Oh my! Judging by your drunken comments you definitely could have used one, either a shoulder or perhaps a wheel barrel. Just so you know, I would have gladly helped to push your sodden butt home in a wheel barrel.

There you have it, shoulders and a wheel barrel taxi.. I.e. true dedication ;-P

Keep your chin up Bête and look to tomorrow; the possibilities are endless.

Antipodeesse said...

I hope it helps to know that you should feel proud you are able help others grow and learn by depicting your deep suffering so drolly.

One empathises and comiserates with you while laughing one's tits off, and that, my dear, is thanks to your gift of comic genius.

Just don't stop writing!

Lennie Nash said...

Dear Monsieur La Bete,

Tant pis, my friend, tant pis! I'm very sorry to hear your dreadful news. But come on - 54 comments! That's got to be a record hasn't it? Funny how love and sadness bring us all together, even the cynics - you know who you are!

But I must ask - you didn't kill that fox did you? Act of spite, well-placed stone in a snowball? Can be done you know. Perhaps Otis Ferry dragged it there?

Anyway, sorry to hear about Morag.

Lennie

La Bête said...

Yes, a kitten! I’m looking into it now. Finally. In spare moments. Not pining. Enjoying imagining myself being licked by virtual strangers, some of whom have appalling oral hygiene.

Thank you, Selena! I am feeling very positive at the moment. I’m self-medicating a lot and not wasting a moment and making things happen in the future. It was great for a time, yes, and I’ve not got regrets.

Thank you, Antipod. You are too kind.

Mister Nash. Welcome! Thank you for your email too and no, my conscience is clear, foxwise. Your comment is perfectly timed because it means that this one, my comment here, brings it up to 55, which is level highest with the flood post. So all I need is one more. Just one. Anyone? Anyone?

Henk Van Vleck said...

Oh go on then, just one, it's wafer-thin. But you'd better have a damn good post ready for March 1 to reward everyone for making a fuss of you.

confused said...

ta da 56! :-)

Innocent Loverboy said...

At least you now have a good excuse for the consumption of chocolate, dude.

Anonymous said...

Oh, alright then. Make it fifty over nearer to sixty. I think my flu is almost fucken over. February. Pshaw!

Fancy a cuppa and a spliff someday?

Ann Anon

Anonymous said...

Ooh, get ex luddite me on an iPhone commenting on a blog. Let's have a comment frenzy. Oh, let's....

Carnalis said...

if i had any crumbs of comfort to offer, they would be yours.

((squeeze))

daisyfae said...

just checking in to see if you posted while hung over... hope the week is off to a better start for you. i won't offer hugs, licks, or even the teeniest little grope. seems you're in sensory overload.

how about a bit of chocolate, eh?

La Bête said...

I'm actually thinking of fasting for a week, between dental appointments.

Balls.

I'll blog it. Hold on a moment...

Octavia said...

Late to the slate I know (and shy), but just to send sweet softpawing up behind you and hold close.

MarkF said...

So sorry to hear your news but I can confirm that all the things you are going back to try will work in the long run (or at least did for me). After years of marriage where I thought we were happy I was left alone to discover that I was in fact institionalised into that relationship. Keeping a balance between a relationship and being yourself is a hard one to strike. Out there someone is waiting - remember that, enjoy every day and when you least expect it....