A little while ago I received an email from a man called Cedric. Cedric works for Qype and wanted to do some kind of partnership thing wherein I would plug Qype, and Qype would interview me and link to my blog or book or something. As it happens, I'd just started using the Qype Radar app on my phone and had been very impressed by it. Also - fortuitously - I do enjoy talking about myself endlessly, so I thought, why the hell not. So here we are. Here's the interview here...
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My God, it's not here. It was so good, it found its way into a book. If you would like to read the interview, which you would definitely love more even than you love your own mother, Stan recommends you go here and purchase a copy of The Little Book of Shame. Not only does it contain the article you're currently reading, it also contains around 50 others, and all for the incredible price of whatever price it happens to be at the moment. You lucky thing you.
22 comments:
Just one off the top of my head - a little restaurant called Loreli's in Soho. It's small and shabby with formica tables and a really bad mural of a topless mermaid waving from a rock. The clientele are always varied and rather odd and it's usually filled with chatter.
The owners are an exceptionally nice Italian man and a Chinese (? Sorry lady I don't know where you're from) woman. They make the most amazing pizzas costing around the region of 5 - 7 quid. And it's byo.
It's my favourite eatery in Soho.
If I could name my daughter Giblet then I'd feel more positive about committing to the idea of procreation
Ah, yes, Lorelei you mean. Other people have advised that but I've never actually made it in. I must make more of an effort.
AMP, what's to stop you? (Apart from some vestigial sense of decency and a more sensible mother?)
Good luck with the de-anonymising. How do you feel about coming out?
In any event, hopefully it will help with sales of the paperback.
Marketing a 'faceless' debut hardback was always going to be an uphill struggle for the publishers.
Now they've got no excuse...
Wellington
My favourite place in London is the bar in Waterstones in Piccadilly. Fantastic views over the city. Bit expensive though.
Noooo! Don't tell everyone about ScooterCaffe :-(
Poor Audrey, she's been rogered senseless and then David poops himself.
Cafe Em in Soho was always very good food and an unpretentious place.
I didn't realise at the time it's opposite a casting agency, which went some way to explaining why five dwarves (perfectly formed) were hanging around a door, like a sinister homunculus gang. Turns out they couldn't reach the door bell for the agency.
Hey, Welly, I’m looking forward to it. I can finally meet all you lovely people and root out the loonies. You coming to the party?
Heck, yes, very expensive. I believe the waitresses wear quite special blouses though, so I guess you’re paying extra for that.
Don’t worry, Shep, no one reads this damn thing anyway.
Hello, Anon. If they were perfectly formed, are you sure they weren’t midgets? Very funny story though. I lolled. I will look out for Café Emm too. It looks nice.
Hi ATF. Thanks for that. The Prince Charles has just been refurbished though, whether it needed it or not. That bit wasn’t fantasy.
The 606 Club off Kings Road. And Hot Pepper Jelly in Crouch End. Each is both lovely and unique, and very small and cramped, so you feel extra smug and special that you got in.
Every time I go into the 12 Bar club on Denmark Street, I see something that blows my mind right out of my skull-space. Something about the tiny stage and the haughty regulars makes every random band that plays there oh-my-God-this-is-the-best-band-I've-ever-seen-oh-my-God-oh-my-God-oh-my-GOD.
Too bad my 12 Bar Club pal, the only one who would nod approvingly and tag along when the pub rang last orders and my 12 Bar Club homing instinct kicked in with a fiery vengence, has gone and emigrated to bloody TURKEY.
And so my 12 Bar days may be over, which is a shame. But I still highly recommend it.
I do hope Audrey Tautou doesn't Google herself.
Piggy, I don’t know either of those places – probably because I’m so desperately uncool.
Eyes, I’ve never been there either, but just looking at their website, I think I’m absolutely definitely going to have to go. £5 lifetime membership guarantees always having a place to go - for free - till 3am, should one require it, as one so often does. Sod the music. Thanks for that. I’m on it.
Tim, I hope she does. It’s the only chance I’ll have to actually snag her. Is that the right word?
Bonjour La Bête,
Is the party still planned for the friday 4th of june ?
Uncle Did
It most certainly is, Monsieur Did. I've just got to pin down a location.
"a stoned horse"
I spent a few seconds imagining a horse that had had its stone removed. You know, like a prune that has no hard bit in the middle. I imagined that horses would probably have quite large stones in their middles, and the removal would create a large hole which would then need filling with food.
I actually thought that was what you meant, until front-brain gave back-brain a good kick up the arse and told it not to be so silly.
Sorry.
As for London, what I like best is its bigness. And its busyness. And its loudfullofpeopleness. I find that very exciting, and having never lived there I still get a bit OohImInLondon squealy when I visit, and those bright lights big city still go to this baby's head.
Now I want to come to London. Ooh! I can! I will! When you have your party! Except that I still suspect I am not worthy and will end up sitting on my own in a pub somewhere while the real deal happens elsewhere entirely.
Can I just say though, that the you-and-Audrey-and-a-balloon sequence was bloody lovely, and a very good example of why I think you're such a good writer? If only I had your imagination.
Do prunes even have stones? Was I thinking of plums? Are prunes in fact dried plums?
Gah. I am a fruit dunce.
Prunes and plums are both euphemisms for testicles though, I think.
But I only just thought of that.
A very touching story of your perfect day. I must say, if i was a man, i couldn't think this day could have got any better. Saying that, even as a woman, i wouldn't kick Audrey out of bed for eating crackers.
I also couldn't agree with you more about the ScooterCaffe, in fact, i don't think that there is another place in London that i would rather spend my evenings. Not that i'm even given that fucking choice.
Anyway, must dash. But really, I laughed (and cried, at precisely the same time) all the way through reading this. Well done that man. (I mean Woman.. Do i have to keep your gender a mystery as well? Blimey this is hard work.)
ah well Bete, I'd very much like to come to your party but suspect I'll be on the wrong side of the channel on the appointed date. Which is a pity. You'll have to do a special post to let all us disenfranchised readers know how it went.
And I like London. I particularly like the Walworth Road, don't ask me why...
When I was but a lass of 20 (I shan't say how long ago that was), I crossed the channel and made my way to London, by myself, for my first visit (I was living in France at the time, but am in fact Canadian). I spent the two weeks of Easter holidays wandering, meeting other youth hostelers (hostelites?), making love (mostly with a street magician, oddly enough), and generally acquiring a lifetime passion for the city.
One of the more recent times I was there, I spent two lovely days having sex with a man and a woman I met on the internet. Where else would I have chosen to do such a thing?
I can't tell you one specific place in London that I recommend or remember... I just know that when I'm there, my heart sings. And, apparently, I have sex a lot.
I fucking hate London, but you're beginning to win me round. I've had a couple of very lovely weekends there lately. My favourite thing in London is the Serpentine Gallery, particularly when it's full of Cornelia Parker's bits of spoons and metal and stuff, all glimmering and reflecting the water outside.
Pearl
BS, don’t be silly. Of course you must come, and of course you are worthy. I think you need to go on a positive thinking course. Before you come preferably.
Thanks, Anon. Please hush your mouth about my vejahjah.
CoS, of course, it will be my pleasure. Just as the Walworth Road is your pleasure. I hate riding my bike along the Walworth Road, and generally I find it vile, but I think know what you mean. It is very London. And of course Charlie Chaplin was brought up there. So that makes it damn cool.
Marianne, Marianne, you and your sex, I don’t know.
Spidey, I’m sure you’ll grow to love it. I hated it too for a while, but as I grew happier in myself, I grew happier in London – not that I’m saying that’s what you need to do, but maybe you do. I don’t know. Places are pretty much what you make them though, I do believe that, and I know there’s enough in London to love if you have a mind to love it.
Yay! I'm looking forward to it. I shall turn it into An Official Adventure* and make time to sample all the most enticing Londonly delights detailed here.
*Hmm. I suspect adventures are much more fun when they're unofficial. Will have to think about that.
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