Monday, 19 January 2009

Feedback Friday :: Oops! Where Did the Weekend Go?

bulk :: 15st 8 (oh God. Reserves of discipline being dredged as we speak, I swear. Or actually, I’m currently thinking of starting up again on January 31st. That’s my favourite date. Classic date for fresh starts. I won’t be going to Fitness First though. No, Sir. I popped into one round my way for a looksee, and it reminded me of stories I’ve heard about some offices in China, just rows and rows and rows of people all doing exactly the same thing, cramped and unsmiling. They had some excellent facilities, I’ll give them that, but there was just something creepy about it. I didn’t like the amount of information I had to give either. I am not a Number! I am a Free Man!)
booze units :: quite a few to be honest. I’ve discovered whisky. It’s nice.
leaves left on the poinsettia :: 67
word count :: 137,627 (next step is to get rid of half of those words, rearrange those remaining and then find some more new ones to add to the mix)
silly accents in my head as I read :: 7
films watched :: 3

Good morning to you. How are you feeling this morning? I know, I know, there’s another cold snap coming, you can feel it in your wrists. But what can you do? Into every Summer a little Winter must fall.

So, I do hope you’re well, I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages. Did you have a good weekend? Merely OK? Come, come, what did you get up to?

I usually see you on a Friday, of course, but I’ve been busy as a bee, writing away like a bonnie wee rascal, writing away like a wordy fuck. And after a shaky start I’ve really got into it. I’ve located the balls of the thing and I’m giving them a good old squeeze. Time though, eh? There really aren’t enough hours in the day.

So, let me tell you a thing or two of what I’ve been up to since last we chatted.

I went to the optician for a free eye test. Cost me a bloody fortune. And while I was in there - SpecSavers it was - an old lady came to the counter after me and said to the young woman behind it, she said: ‘Will you clean my glasses, please?’ Then she took her glasses off and handed them to the young woman.

The young woman was twenty-one, twenty-two maybe, blonde and pleasant and ordinary. The old lady was in her sixties, and seemed quite mad. She had no care, no sense of convention, she did not conform.

The young woman examined the glasses, and said, ‘These are not SpecSavers glasses.’

The old lady, moving slowly from side to side and blinking, said. ‘Yeh, will you clean them, please?’ She spoke quickly and with nasal clarity.

The young woman was in a corner. She didn’t want to be rude, but there were other people waiting, with requests she was paid to consider more important. ‘OK,’ she said. ‘Will you take a seat, please.’

The old lady shuffled to a nearby seat and sat waiting patiently.

The young woman dealt with a couple more customers and when the rush died down, she cleaned the old lady’s glasses and returned them to her.

The old lady took them from her, stood up and shuffled quickly and silently out of the shop.

Not so much as a by your leave. Milady.

The young woman shook her head in disbelief. If they have Candid Camera in her country, she was probably very briefly entertaining the idea that she was being set up for the hilarity of the feeble-minded and housebound.

I asked her if that had ever happened before. She said it had not. We agreed it was strange.

When I got home I loaded up the car with dirty dishes and high-tailed it to IKEA.

And ehhh… So what else?

Well, I went into London on the tube this week and I was using prepay. I made a bit of an arse of things and lost some money doing a stupid thing with my card. A tube station employee saw me standing there like a disappointed moron and asked if everything was OK. Then, when I explained, he proceeded to help me get a refund from the guy at the window with such an extraordinarily friendly manner that I was quite taken aback. He did his job perfectly. It really stood out in this city where good service is becoming a forgotten art. I know I’m sounding like a frightful reactionary, but dash it all, you know it’s true. But this guy was great. I would have tipped this guy if he’d worked in an industry that was deemed tippable. As it was, I merely thanked him repeatedly and made it quite clear that he’d made my day.

We’re meeting for dinner on Wednesday.

And ehhh… So, Morag bought me many wonderful things for Christmas. We had a great time by the way, both here and in Scotland. One day I think I’d like to talk about it all. There was fun and there were feelings. It was really quite something. Anyway, one of the things she got me was a voucher for a man-pampering centre. This is because I’ve always said, one day, when I can afford it, I’d love to have sit-down with a chiropodist. So just as soon as I can grab an afternoon, I’m going to get my feet scraped. And maybe a nice facial.

And ehhh... Ooh, also this week I’ve got another round of medical things coming up, including eyes, ears and balls check. Wish me luck, you old devil, you.


leaves left on the poinsettia :: 65

So tell me, how’s your Monday shaping up? Tell me everything.

I'm off to bed.

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Anonymous said...

Splendid. I wondered where Friday went! I had a great weekend. Saw 2 boy friends. Yes, they are boys; yes, they are friends. One is sicilian (whadayagonnado?) and read his poetry out (in sicilian) whilst I told him the images it produced. You know what - I always captured the essence of the poem. Now, I am scoffin' a hummus and mozarella cheese sarnie on brown soda bread, suppin a cuppa tea and (shh) about to roll a camberwell carrot. Quick nap then work at midday.

Glad you're back ;-)

Ann Anon

Some Chilean Woman said...

I'm sitting at work sucking on some 'Nips' -it's hard candy, caramel flavored. My coworkers are teasing me saying "Carla has hard nips". Oh if they only knew...

Anonymous said...

My Monday started about an hour ago (it's now 7.04am) and so far I have been woken up by the dog, woken up again by youngest child, made 2 cups of tea, son spilled 1 of them and started again and I still haven't finished my cup which means I'm not nice to know just yet!
Thanks for asking though ;o)

Nick Tann said...

Nearly 2 hours to drive the 61 miles to work, not a happy bunny about that.
Went for fantastic walk to St Catherines Hill then on to Winchester.
Tried to buy fridge from Comets but said fridge had increased £50 since November! "It's the pound" said the "assistant"
"It's bollox" replied my admirable spouse. She is quite magnificent. We departed and found it cheaper on the web, so that means we win.

Anonymous said...

in my undies still, reading blog posts, when i should (in fact) be packing for a business trip. to florida, where they have a burning sphere in the sky - called "the SUN". only a day, but i hope to capture some photons before i return tomorrow...

i am a 'letter writer' when i receive outstanding service. no one does that these days, and it's powerful. i like to think i've helped launch management careers for several working troops over the course of the years... let him order the steak...

Shimacat said...

Weekend? After a Monday i work, I feel as if I need another one, please.

I had Friday off, and for the first time I went to a department store cosmetics counter and had my makeup done. And it wasn't scary. And I didn't look scary afterwards, either; in fact, I looked quite good.

On Saturday, I tried to recreate what the cosmetics woman had done, failed, and spent the day in a sulk.

On Sunday, I did my shift in the local Oxfam bookshop, where people bought books from me and nary a one was stolen. I remember that post, Stan Cattermole, and will keep poking you about it long after you wih you'd never 'fessed up.

Nick Tann said...

Thought you appreciate this as you were my inspiration! My New MSM "Friend" Allie

19:44:47 Nick T: Who are you again?
19:45:00 Allie: hey, Age/Sex/Location? :)
19:45:08 Nick T: ?
19:45:19 Allie: hey whats up babe, U got a webcam? finally someone adds me, I am soo fuckin horny today for some reason lol
19:45:52 Nick T: :o)
19:46:06 Allie: listen hun, I am just about to start my webcam show with jen, come chat me there in my chat room? We can cyber, I will get naked if u!
19:46:21 Nick T: I don't think so
19:46:35 Allie: I can show u how to watch if u promise not to tell anyone else how to do it???PLEASE:-$
19:47:04 Nick T: But I'm an ugly troll
19:47:12 Nick T: why would you want to see me naked?
19:47:46 Allie: well since its the law that u gotta be 18 (nudity involved), u have to sign up with a credit card for age verification! BUT.. Once you are inside, just clikc on "Webcams" let me know what name you use to sign in with so I know it is you babe! fill out the bottom of the page then fill out the next page as well and u can see me live!
19:48:31 Nick T: But what if you're ugly? I'm very particular who I look at. Is a stolen credit card ok?
19:48:37 Allie: Please dont mention anything about that in the chatroom once u get in ok?:-$
19:48:49 Nick T: so a stolen card is cool yes?
19:49:14 Allie: OH SHIT.. k I am late to start my show, I gotta get off msn...I will see ya inside my chatroom babe.. remember not to mention that I am upgrading u... You can use your msn name to sign in so i know it is you..
19:50:23 Nick T: I'm in an internet cafe, will they mind if I get naked?
19:50:27 Allie: AUTO-RESPONSE: hey just in the middle of my webcam show if you want to watch click the link
19:50:49 Nick T: I'm just getting naked
19:51:11 Nick T: The young Polish couple are laughing!!!!
19:51:30 Nick T: Now I can't find the stolen card!
19:51:33 Nick T: Shit
19:51:35 Allie: AUTO-RESPONSE: hey just in the middle of my webcam show if you want to watch click the link
19:51:59 Nick T: I hate it when people laugh at me.....
19:52:09 Nick T: I'll make them laugh, NOT
19:54:21 Nick T: I've made some new friends!! Do you acept Bank of Poland credit cards?
19:54:25 Allie: AUTO-RESPONSE: hey just in the middle of my webcam show if you want to watch click the link
19:55:58 Nick T: In the middle? So I, sorry WE'VE missed the first half
19:56:02 Allie: AUTO-RESPONSE: hey just in the middle of my webcam show if you want to watch click the link
19:56:48 Nick T: Me and the Polish couple are going for a few drinks round the corner. Maybe some other time eh?

La Bête said...

Ann, don't talk to me about mozzarella. Just don't. I've got two in the fridge and I'm desperately trying not to go and shove them both down my neck.

Naughty Carla.

Hope you've finished your tea by now, Penny.

'It's the pound!' That's my new catchphrase. 'You haven't done that washing up yet.' 'It's the pound!'

Naughty Daisy. Writing letters is a good thing. More of that sort of thing!

Oh, please, Shima, let's move on. Forgive and forget.

Um, thanks, Nick.

Anonymous said...

You're off to bed? But I saw this earlier and...

Ah, yesterday you went to bed. Now I understand.

Me? Well, I have been getting cold and wet and annoyed cos of things like walking 25 mins in wind and sleet only to be told my destination was full up and I had to take me and my getting-rather-restless baby all the way bloody home again. So we went to the library and listened to some stories instead. It was all right. But it was cold. And I was wet. And my shoes leak. Because I am a poor and struggling artistic type. Ay me.

But tomorrow I will be a Full Time Writer again, just like you. It was supposed to happen last Tuesday but my baby went and got chicken pox, inconsiderate sod that he is. And I'm afraid that after a non-stop week of it I am now heartily sick of his company and rather glad that he's starting nursery tomorrow. So that I can finish writing my novel. Yay.

I have cleaned and tidied both my house and my study so I will have no excuse to do anything but write (well, read) (I did a first draft six months ago (whilst pregnant) and now I need to read through before second-drafting) (but you know what I mean), and now I am going to unplug my internet cable and I WILL NOT PLUG IT IN AGAIN until tomorrow evening, after I have spent a day being a writery person.

So there.

Anonymous said...

PS I passed the Countdown audition. Yay me. I will be on telly some time in the next few months. Dunno when yet.

PPS My son told his teacher I was an author and now I have to go and talk to his whole bloody class about it next Friday. Eek! And he made me give her a copy of my first novel. Double eek! It's got sex and drugs and stuff in it, and I just know she'll pass it around the staffroom, and God alone knows what effect it'll have on my son. But there you go. The deed is done.

Anonymous said...

MLK day here in the states (a day off!), and Obama to be sworn in in a matter of hours. can't complain, can we?

Anonymous said...

I just remembered, I meant to ask: Have you written 137,627 in just a few weeks, or are you editing stuff already written? Cos if the former, that is one impressive word count. Hats off to you.