Friday, 1 August 2008

Feedback Friday :: Mamma Mia, Pappa Mia

bulk :: 16st 1
cigarettes smoked :: 0
joints smoked:: 0
swims swum:: 2 (hurrah for me!)
units of alcohol imbibed:: 15ish
chiropractic visits :: 0
sexy adventures :: 1 (hurrah for me!)

So Keith and I went to see Mamma Mia last night.

Don’t ask.

I’ll tell you anyway.

He’d booked tickets for him and whatsername, because whatsername wanted to see it, but at the last minute whatsername couldn’t go. So I got a booty call. Well, not exactly, but you know what I mean.

And I’d just like to say I have never ever seen a film quite as bad as that. Diabolical script, diabolical acting, diabolical singing, diabolical direction. A truly, astonishingly bad film.

Watching it, I just couldn’t understand what on earth any of the people involved thought they were up to. Outside of making money of course.

The worst thing about it was that it was horribly, sickeningly unfunny. According to a Channel 4 review however, the film is full of ‘endearing and hilariously funny’ moments, wherein ‘crucially, you're always laughing with the cast rather than at them’. I had entirely the opposite sensation. The only time I laughed was when the characters started to sing, or when the elderly female characters seemed for no reason whatsoever to paw at their vaginas in the middle of a song, or when Mr Darcy turned into a big gay in the final scene, with his shirt off and everything.

I love Abba. And this film was a fucking disgrace.

Somehow though, on some weird masochistic level, I kind of quite enjoyed it.

I have two more things to say about this film.

The first is that it brought to a head a decision that’s been fermenting in my head for a few weeks now. That decision is that I’m going to go and see my dad. I haven’t seen him for years, six or seven years I think, and the fact that this film – one of the worst ever made – was instrumental in bringing me to my decision is perhaps a little bit wrong. Actually ‘instrumental’ is probably laying it on a bit thick. But when that utterly gorgeous, empty-headed girl said, ‘I just want a Dad’, or something equally asinine, I found myself thinking, ‘Me too actually. Why not.’ So I’m going to start some investigations. Maybe I’ll track him down, we’ll have a plaintive and tearful reunion and I’ll realise that a father’s love was all I ever needed. And everything will be alright. Or maybe I’ll pummel his miserable face for him. Oh, I say.

The other thing I have to say is this: the Lucas Moodysson Tillsammans, or Together, is as good as Mamma Mia is bad. It also features the odd Abba song, which is what made me think of it. If you haven’t seen it, you really must.

In other news, thanks for your thoughts yesterday. Some of you were close. Not man-whores, no. But a lady. I shall give you a blow-by-blow account next week. Now I must go and relive it.

In the meantime, have a great weekend.

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Unknown said...

Show Me Love (or Fucking Amal, if you must) is even better.
Mamma Mia is spectacularly bad, but I guess it's only fair that stupid women get an equivalent cultural outlet to the horrific action flicks that stupid men have enjoyed for decades.
Stop drinking and start running!

Carnalis said...


i need to up my game .. feeling distinctly left out of sexual rumpuses.

Larry Teabag said...

the elderly female characters seemed for no reason whatsoever to paw at their vaginas

That's me sold.

Annie said...

I loved Together. The moment when the separated dad takes the kids to a restaurant was a Proustian moment for me. Must have got something in my eye...

Anonymous said...

I'm with Larry, I kind of have to see it now. Afterwards, well, I will proceed to pour lye in my eyes.

Sadly, this means that I will no longer be able to read your blog... thanks a bunch.

P.S. way to go, on the swimming and the backstroking in bed too. You give me hope.

Anonymous said...

I can't stand ABBA, and have a particularly gruesome memory of Mama Mia as a really badly done highschool musical, but I have to say I enjoyed the movie. You forgot to mention how hysterical Pierce is when he sings, because he is so ridiculously terrible.

And come on.... old ladies touch their vaginas just as much as young ladies (or more often, actually, if their old erectile dysfunction riddled lovers are less likely to please...)

Anonymous said...

hhphhi. The word verifications are fab! Good luck with the Dad thang. Tricky steps to be taken with care.

oatmeal girl said...

Ah, it's lovely to find another fan of Tillsammans, which I am very fond of - and not just because it's in Swedish.

women shouldn't have to need reasons to paw their vaginas, you know - after all, men do clutch their crotches on a regular basis, just to reassure themselves they haven't lost this dubious proof of their manhood.

DJ Kirkby said...

Nice to hear someone hated Mama Mia. I thought I was the only person who thought it would be such shite that I couldn't even be bothered to go watch it. Well I guess I still am as you actually did go watch it...

Verdant Earl said...

I was dragged to the Broadway musical version of "Mamma Mia" a few years back in much the same way.

I don't remember anything about the musical except commenting out loud at the end that I thought it was supposed to contain only Abba songs. A harsh woman in the row behind me told me they WERE all Abba songs.

So I guess I only know 3 or 4 of them.