An Apology :: Updated

I would like to offer a personal and unreserved apology to Courgette, and by extension, to all those offended by yesterday’s blogpost. It is clear from the views expressed by the public that this post caused severe offence and, on reflection, I can see why.

I am deeply sorry and greatly regret the upset and distress that my juvenile and thoughtless remarks and actions have caused. Patronising and sexually harassing Courgette was bad enough; attempting to make light of the act in a public retelling displayed an unforgivable amount of self-regard, not to mention perversity, misogyny and outright inhumanity. The whole thing was a stupid error of judgement on my part and I offer a full apology.

Although there were certain crucial embellishments and omissions in the retelling of the tale, I make no excuses. I chose my words and must stand – or fall – by them.

I am however at pains to point out that I bear no Courgette ill will, and whilst she may not have known the name of the current Prime Minister of England, or had any understanding of how immigration is used by both the media and politicians as a means of manipulating and coercing the general public, I have absolutely no doubt that she is a warm, kind, sweet, special and spiritually sound human being, morally beyond reproach and certainly a lot nicer than I ever could be.

I realise that my thoughts were an affront to public taste and should never have been published in the first place. I have sent a full and unequivocal apology to Courgette, along with a large bunch of flowers and a Cabbage Patch Doll. (She likes them! Honest.)


Today’s scheduled post has been suspended until further notice.

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Update

This is just a little note for some readers of this blog – not stupid readers, no, that is definitely NOT what I’m saying, merely American – who clearly didn’t make the connection between this post and a little story that’s been clogging up the newspapers over here for the last week. I wouldn’t mention it normally, as I quite like the idea of people floundering around in the dark (because I’m sinister), but I’m being mistaken for being noble, and that will never do.

See? In the cold light of day, I’m not sorry at all.

Well, maybe a bit.