Wednesday, 20 February 2008

Curse of the Nurse

My skin is aching.

It is colder than a witch's fridge and yet, I am sweating.

Every few minutes a tiny dwarf in my gut jabs at my innards with a sharpened spoon.

I can't keep my eyes open but I can't seem to sleep.

I feel like I've taken a handful of mysterious pills from an old lady's handbag - I feel spaced and confused, like I don't know what's going on. But I do know. I know exactly what's going on.

I feel really pissed off because I know that in a few hours' time, I'll be sitting on the loo, throwing up between my legs.

It's taken me about half an hour to type this.

I have to go now. I expect I'll be back by Friday.

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Carolina said...

While it would seem logical you picked this nasty little virus up from Ange, WebMd confirmed my suspicions; it was the skin tight sexy rubber pants and no underwear. Feel better soon, doll!

Iron Fist said...

That does not sound fun at all. Hope you feel better soon.

Glamourpuss said...

No more cybersex for you for a while then. Unless coprophagia is your bag.


DJ Kirkby said...

Ah the things you do for lets hope she comes and takes care of you seeing as there is no chance of her catching it again!

Gannet said...

Take care of yourself, Bête!

Geeky Tai-Tai said...

Feel better soon! Maybe you should practice safer cyber-sex next time? ;)

Glamourpuss said...

You may well currently be shitting through the eye of a needle, but if you have a chance, pop over and collect the award I just nominated you for.


Anonymous said...

Sorry, you caught the NOROVIRUS- it sucks when you try to help the sick and end up catching the illness. That is why, when all my friends are sick, I quarantine them in plastic bubbles.
Hey, I can't afford to by a bio- hazard suit! Sheesh.

Well, I will be heart broken that I shall have no excuse to take a break from work and read your blog, till Friday.

I'll check daily anyway...just in case ;-)

Wishing you a Speedy Recovery, soft TP and bottles upon bottles of disinfectant.


Luka said...

Still, think of the weight loss!

Ginny said...

*gives you big snogs to make you feel better*

Sorry you feel so crap, my dear

Helga Hansen said...

Next time, make Ange wash her vomit-covered clothes before you turn up to help in her hour of need.

Oh, and make sure you take your own gloves, face mask, industrial vat of anti-bacterial wash, etc. If the little beggars still manage to get you, call the press and tell them you've got a new, super-duper "can't kill me" strain!! Some desperate journo might sell his soul for the story!

lauren said...

feel better soon! (try theraflu or immodium, works like a charm!!)

Musical Midnight said...

I'm battling a cold/flu bug myself, and while it's not to the degree of what you're going through, I can still sympathize.

I hope you get well soon.

EmmaK said...

Oh poor Bête, recover soon and give us more cyber conversations. The last one really cracked me up!