Friday, 15 February 2008

Feedback Friday, Favour Friday :: La Ayuda Une Por Favor A Hombres Feos…


bulk
:: 18st 7 (still in the right direction but a disappointment, especially considering the pain I am still in from physical exertion. I deserved to have lost at least a stone playing tennis.)
cigarettes :: 0
alcohol units :: 20
runs :: 1 (this is poor. More effort required.)
new IM friends snagged :: 1
poodles killed :: 0
valentines day cards received :: 1 (oh yes, finally I received one. Sadly, it was a card professing love for someone else…)




So:


Sal and I are ‘just good friends’…
And this is where the story ends.
She loves her boyfriend (of 12 weeks),
Despite the bumfluff on his cheeks.
Apparently, he’s ‘ace in bed’ -
A fact now burning in my head...
(Her truth delights me, makes me glow,
But some things I don’t need to know.)
IM is fine but IM not
To let myself with her besot.
But unrequitings are my fate,
And now I fear, it’s much too late…
What makes this story so much worse
Is telling it in rotten verse…


…but that’s what Valentine’s Day is all about. Or so I am led to believe. Anyhow, that’s me done with love. Let’s just get on with the ugly stuff.



So last weekend I received an email from the very exciting Glamourpuss concerning Gonzalo Otálora, a Venezuelan chap who’s written a book called ‘Feo’. ‘Feo’, as you may or may not be aware, means ‘ugly’. So I found his blog and dropped him a line. I introduced myself as a fellow freak and suggested that it might be good to do something together – some kind of interview maybe. A couple of days later he wrote back.

‘Thank for wrote me,’ he said. ‘My ingles is very poor….’

Bless. As poor as his ingles is however, I’m sure it’s a darn site better than my Espanish. He’s happy for me to ask him some questions anyway, and reckons that he’ll muddle through. However, as amusing as it might be to see two ugly men floundering around in a pit of poor language skills, I just think it would be better if I could talk to him in his own sweet tongue. So yes, in short, do any of you speak Spanish and fancy helping out on a little ‘ugly hands across the water’ project? I don’t even know what I want to say to him yet, but it would be good to be able to say it in his original language. It’s a gesture, innit?

So far I’ve been relying on Babel Fish, which even I can see is pretty bad. The title of this blog post is courtesy of Babel Fish. ‘Please Help Unite the Ugly Men’. I have no idea how accurate it is. But it’s a computer for God’s sake. And if computers worked, translators would be out of a job. Besides which, it’s all a bit, ‘Open the pod bay door, Hal’ for me. I prefer the human touch. We all need it.

By the way, as you can see from the photo above, he's really not that ugly. The big faker.

Oh and also, while I’m begging favours, does anyone know anything about Facebook? More specifically, if I were to start a group, how would I invite more than just my own friends to join it?

Thanking you in advance.

I leave you with a couple more cards....



Awww.



Ewww.



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12 comments:

Glamourpuss said...

Yeah, I didn't think he was that ugly either, but I guess the real issue is feeling ugly - body image and all that.

Thanks for the shout out, petal.

Puss

Carolina said...

I teach in a school with an entire Spanish department. I'm happy to try to enlist their services. Yesterday must have been the day of misdelivered love. I received flowers for someone else and was told to just keep them when I called the florist. Yay for VD screw ups! heehee

Wisewebwoman said...

Gawd, this ugly stuff is so all in the mind, isn't it. It was reinforced in me at an early age that when people complimented me at all is was because they were feeling "sorry for me".
I was forced into a beauty competition in Italy and placed second and still thought it was because I was Irish and the Italians were feeling sorry for me, being so far from home and all.
Thirty years later I look at the pictures of that long ago day and with shock I realize I was beautiful. And never ever knew it.
And the biggest lesson of all now is that the most important feeling I have on any given day is how I feel about me. Everything radiates from that.
You write beautifully BDJ, this can only spring from the beauty you are.

Anonymous said...

Oh for goodness sake, please don't start a facebook page. What is the bloody point of all that nonsense? If you can tell me that, then I'll count your calories for you.

La Bête said...

Carolina, ooh - I say, ooh, that's interesting. Sorry, I seem - I say, I seem to have turned into Foghorn Leghorn. How queer. Well, I'm going to work on what it is I want to say to this chap when I have a sec then I'll see how your friends are fixed. Bad luck on the flowers.

Thank you, wisewebwoman. You are very wise.

anonymous – the only reason I want to start a Facebook group is because I thought of a half-funny idea that I thought might bring some more readers my way. Since a few people have come, I must admit, I find myself awfully addicted to this blogging caper. I’ve never had people read my words before – not unrelated to work-words at least – and I really want more. It’s not something I’m proud of particularly, but I reckon it's par for the course with bloggers. So anyway, the Facebook thing was just a potential way of rallying readers. I’m sorry. You make me feel so very ashamed. I am going to go and thrash myself now. To within an inch of my life. I hope you’re happy.

suburbanhen said...

Man.
I wrote this ace comment about stuff and stuff but blogger is shit and ate it. It told you I was drunk, professed love fro aninonimouses and told you about this Canadian chick living in Mexico who love me no more buit who I thought of briefly to be doing you tralations for you.

Whatever.
Happy V day for yesterdays, Bete.
Love the poem.

me again said...

Self flagulation sucks. It leaves scars.

La Bête said...

Aninonimice.

Scars are sexy.

unhealthy stalker now said...

Only if they're from sharks.

Lilith said...

Hola,

I can speak English and my mother tongue is Spanish so if you want me to, I can help you with the translations...
And yes, as you said in your post, is such a gesture trying to try and talk to someone in his/her mother language :)

You have a pretty nice blog.
And a good sense of humour!

Regards,
Lilith.

Helga Hansen said...

Another Facebook convert, eh? Being one of their kind, I think all you need to do, once you've started a group is invite people. And get those people to invite their people, and so it goes.

Maybe I should start by inviting you as a friend, and then along with the other 24 friends you already have, you can use and abuse our network of friends... I have over 80... and yes, I know pretty damn near all of them!!

I'll be the cartoon chick with a glass of champers in her hand... ;)

Sue said...

Oh... I thought the title said "Animal of Day"

I use a different translator.