Monday, 6 April 2009

Scanmongering Monday :: Pain Surprise

‘Why on earth do you want a scanner?’ sneered Juna, my imaginary friend.

‘I have a couple of bits and bobs that I want to scan for big laughs,’ I replied. ‘Also, I want a shiny new gizmo to keep me busy in the quiet hours.’

So I finally got it set up on Saturday morning. Then I had a thought, if not an epiphany: Bookscan! Rather than throw them out, I would scan images from my curious old books and ask passers-by to try and guess the name of the book. What fun that would be!

Juna popped by post-epiphany and indulged me with a smile. Then she made me a cup of tea and gave me a haircut.

So, this is how it will work: I will post an image and ask you to provide me with the name of the book from which the image has been purloined. For example, this:

And you will reply, ‘Hold on a moment, I recognise that clever old cat. Why, that’s Magical Mr Mistoffelees, as drawn by Nicolas Bentley, inestimable illustrator and the son of the man who invented the clerihew. Which means that this is a detail from Old Possum’s Book of Practical Cats by TS Eliot. And I claim my £500.’

And I will say, ‘Whoa there, turd blossom!’

And you will interrupt angrily and bellow, ‘They call me MISTER Turd Blossom!’

And I will indulge you with a smile before saying, ‘Right. Well, I’m sorry about this, but there is no prize money. However. You have done well. You have shown admirable knowledge, and for this you shall be rewarded.’

And I will give you a dried apricot.

And you will be elated.

So, without further ado, here is our first scantastic instalment of Bookscan. Simply peruse the images at your leisure, then, using your brain, arrive at the title of the book, and leave it in the comments. And if you haven't a clue, then the least you can do is have a guess. Winner gets a prize!

Not forgetting the poor old sod at the top. (Stroke.)

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Anonymous said...

Dr. Jack Kevorkian's "Goodnight Grampa" series. A "how to" primer for those wishing to help their friends and families along to the great beyond...

Valerie said...

I have no idea what these are from but I think I'm in love with your library.

Wisewebwoman said...

I'm lost in stunned admiration for the moves of the old fellah in (151) ending up splatted on the desk in (1). What happened to his stick?

Anonymous said...

Is it that old 1950's classic:

'Here We Go: Health Action Series.' by Charlotte Wilcox and Edith McCall, 1955.



La Bête said...

It's not Dr Death, Daisy, no.

Thank you, Valerie. Just you wait for the weird stuff.

WWW, it's not the same man. The old gentleman in Figure 151 is still alive and well, I am happy to report.

Ann Anon, no. But that is an excellent guess. Big up yourself.

Some Chilean Woman said...

Damn, I wish I was creative at 3:07a.m.

All I can say is that I would love these to be postcards, I'd send them to you.

Anonymous said...

Bonjour La Bête,
I remember that electric heating shaped like a satellite dish (166) from my childhood.
It must be "Domestic accidents: how to avoid them" published in the 50's and distributed by any proper Health Visitor.
Or some stuff like that, no ?
Uncle Did

Larry Teabag said...

Annoying. I knew the cat one. Are the others from J.J.J.J. Nettlethwaite's Almanac of Household Mishaps?

La Bête said...

Some fine guesses there, but none of them quite right. I am sorry.

AndrewM said...

First Aid in the Home
by Nurse Colmondleigh-Warner SRN.

Clare Sudders said...


I love this post. As much - if not more - for the asides, as for the concept. But the latter is also good. And yet again I am jealous. Damn you. And damn me, for not keeping that thought to myself.

The book: How to Burn Friends and Endanger People.

Luka said...

Is it that 1950s Penguin classic "Oh Bugger"?

Grace said...

Wait a minute, you're telling me people still read books???