This is the best photo I have seen for a very long time...
From here, via @mccandelish.
Saturday, 18 July 2009
Swine Flu :: From The Mouths Of Babes
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...an ugly man's guide to life, love and happiness.
Contact
If you would like to say hello or how'd you do or just give me a piece of your mind, please feel free to drop me a line at karlpwebster AT gmail DOT com. Thanks.
My Most Significant Moments...
- My First Time With A Lady
- My Second Time With A Lady
- My First Time With An Animal
- My First Time With A Virtual Lady
- My First Bash At Online Bingo
- My First Speed Date (Part One)
- My First Speed Date (Part Two)
- My Best Friend's Girl
- My First Real Grief
- My First Funeral For A Friend
- My First School Reunion
- My First Bout of Air Rage
- My First Attempt At Parody
Order The Book Now!
...or have a good old gander before you order...
BROWSE INSIDE... but remember, once you've browsed, you are legally obliged to buy at least three copies.
What People Say About The Book
'Fave book of the year. Ace... I laughed lots and cried twice.'
'Glorious. Brutal, tragic, funny.'
'...one of the most exciting new literary talents of 2009.'
'Cattermole… has been described as one of the hottest literary talents of 2009. And his book is every bit as good as his blog….'
- Sky News
'...I enjoy reading Stan Cattermole’s writing as much as I enjoy Mark Twain and Charles Dickens and Kurt Vonnegut. In fact, I have rarely read anything more painfully humorous and delightfully moving.'
In a nutshell..
- La Bête
- I am a good man - loving and funny and true - wrapped in the body of a brutal, brutal mess. I also have a face like a bag of elbows. This is my curse. If you see me limping down a London street, do not judge me - because you do not know me. Just give me a smile, or if that proves too difficult, please try to look away without wincing. It really is the least you can do.
Qype. The London Entertainment Guide
Artist in Residence (although not this residence)
Feed de Jour
Confess Your Sins :: Cleanse Your Soul
Self-Publicity :: While My Own Trumpet Gently Weeps Spit…
‘I'm sorry but this blog is way too good for an amateur. It’s either William Leith or Irvine Welsh….’
- Hendo
'...superb, hovering somewhere between Dostoevsky, Wodehouse and Adrian Mole....'
- Tim Footman
‘Hilarious and hot, all in one. How refreshing.’
- Bittersweet-Me
‘Funny, well-written, touching… addictive and fast-gathering a cult following.’
- Rachel from North London
‘You are such a wanker, you really are! People like you make me wanna vomit. My got [sic] the world would be such a dull place if you had your way, wouldnt [sic] it?’
- Anonymous Sebastian Horsley fan
‘[Bete de Jour] is an awesome writer, and has the balls to write about some ridiculously personal stuff…. Read his 'significant moment' posts… they're all great, and revealing, and refreshingly honest.’
- TheTelf
‘I salute your great honesty, unless you made it up, in which case I salute your great dishonesty.’
- Larry Teabag
‘Wonderful, wonderful writing! I fear you've become my new addiction.’
- SJ
‘I bloody love MDMA. Yum yum.’
- Roszs Bif
‘You're hilarious!’
- Mary Setrakian
‘You know, I reckon with that whole self-effacing thing going on, you're not going to need to shell out for whores - we girls are suckers for that stuff….’
- Glamourpuss
‘Like other readers of your wittily-penned blog, I think you are likely to find your next partner by the power of your typing fingers and creative thoughts....’
- Shimacat
‘You are a beautiful person. Period.’
- Jessica Rae
‘I never even knew that cats liked marmite.’
- EmmaK
‘I love how you write, I love your Blog, and I love you.’
- Ginny
‘You write beautifully, BDJ. This can only spring from the beauty you are.’
- wisewebwoman
‘And there I was thinking you'd never top the cat porn… You share my love of subverting the sex genre...’
- Luka
‘Before I read this, I don't remember the last time I laughed out loud at my computer.’
- Ryan Lawson [It was ten minutes earlier]
‘You swing between extremely touching, confessional posts and flat-out, totally wrong but right, hilarity.’
- Hank Kingsley
‘Bloody amazing stuff. I'm definitely nominating you for something when blog awards season rolls around.’
- Sir Garence
‘Your blog is really good and interesting, even when you are writing about disgusting things like vomit and poo.’
- Uncle Did
‘I knew it! Surely there had to be something worth reading out there in Blogland. And now I've found it. I did read the one track mind girl for a while, but then everyone told her she was a good writer, so she started writing like someone trying to be a writer, which was tiresome. I hope that doesn't happen to you… More power to your elbow(s).’
- Brian
- Hendo
'...superb, hovering somewhere between Dostoevsky, Wodehouse and Adrian Mole....'
- Tim Footman
‘Hilarious and hot, all in one. How refreshing.’
- Bittersweet-Me
‘Funny, well-written, touching… addictive and fast-gathering a cult following.’
- Rachel from North London
‘You are such a wanker, you really are! People like you make me wanna vomit. My got [sic] the world would be such a dull place if you had your way, wouldnt [sic] it?’
- Anonymous Sebastian Horsley fan
‘[Bete de Jour] is an awesome writer, and has the balls to write about some ridiculously personal stuff…. Read his 'significant moment' posts… they're all great, and revealing, and refreshingly honest.’
- TheTelf
‘I salute your great honesty, unless you made it up, in which case I salute your great dishonesty.’
- Larry Teabag
‘Wonderful, wonderful writing! I fear you've become my new addiction.’
- SJ
‘I bloody love MDMA. Yum yum.’
- Roszs Bif
‘You're hilarious!’
- Mary Setrakian
‘You know, I reckon with that whole self-effacing thing going on, you're not going to need to shell out for whores - we girls are suckers for that stuff….’
- Glamourpuss
‘Like other readers of your wittily-penned blog, I think you are likely to find your next partner by the power of your typing fingers and creative thoughts....’
- Shimacat
‘You are a beautiful person. Period.’
- Jessica Rae
‘I never even knew that cats liked marmite.’
- EmmaK
‘I love how you write, I love your Blog, and I love you.’
- Ginny
‘You write beautifully, BDJ. This can only spring from the beauty you are.’
- wisewebwoman
‘And there I was thinking you'd never top the cat porn… You share my love of subverting the sex genre...’
- Luka
‘Before I read this, I don't remember the last time I laughed out loud at my computer.’
- Ryan Lawson [It was ten minutes earlier]
‘You swing between extremely touching, confessional posts and flat-out, totally wrong but right, hilarity.’
- Hank Kingsley
‘Bloody amazing stuff. I'm definitely nominating you for something when blog awards season rolls around.’
- Sir Garence
‘Your blog is really good and interesting, even when you are writing about disgusting things like vomit and poo.’
- Uncle Did
‘I knew it! Surely there had to be something worth reading out there in Blogland. And now I've found it. I did read the one track mind girl for a while, but then everyone told her she was a good writer, so she started writing like someone trying to be a writer, which was tiresome. I hope that doesn't happen to you… More power to your elbow(s).’
- Brian
Things you may have missed...
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▼
2009
(120)
-
▼
July
(12)
- Feedback Friday :: Shit Floats
- What’s the Worst Book You’ve Ever Read?
- Feedback Friday :: Sometimes There’s No Poison Lik...
- Swine Flu Unmasked :: It’s War
- Swine Flu :: From The Mouths Of Babes
- Feedback Friday :: Busy Doing Nothing
- The Evolution of Ejaculation Strategies :: The Tru...
- FYI
- I Must Admit, I Am Tempted...
- The Monday Review :: Unsound Bites
- Feedback Friday :: Countdown
- Adventures in the North :: DIY and Desiccated Merm...
-
▼
July
(12)
10 comments:
Excellent. Clearly the parent weighed up the value of stopping their kid licking all the places that pigs' snouts get into, or getting that picture... obviously they made the right choice :-)
I saw that a few weeks ago via some other medical related blog. Brilliant isn't it?
A friend who is knowledgable about these things reckons it´s better to cop for this version then you may have some resistance to the mutated version which will (possibly)emerge later.
Golickapig......
Wait, we're not supposed to let the kiddies lick the porkers? Oh, crap....
It's not really swine flu related but there are some wonderful pictures of pigs here
The NHS website are claiming that you can catch swine flu twice, in an attempt to stop people getting it now on purpose to make themselves immune to nastier mutations later... but nobody really knows. Still the more people catch it now, the more mutated versions will be around later, so it's not really the best plan. Which makes it all the more galling that I inadvertently had a swine flu party on my birthday. Two attendees have been felled so far...
I had it in June when it was in NYC. Hit fast, headache and a fever of 102, but got Tamaflu ASAP which kept it from turning into pneumonia. Forget staying home so it doesn't spread, go immediately to the doctor and get those meds. And eat, that helps with the fever. I was really sick for 5 days and dragged myself to work for maybe another week and was fine after that.
"Forget staying home so it doesn't spread, go immediately to the doctor and get those meds."
In case anyone doesn't know, you don't (in UK at least) have to go anywhere to get meds. Phone GP, they will do over-the-phone diagnosis and prepare a prescription in your name, which can then be picked up by a "flu friend" who can take it to a designated medical centre, swap it for Tamiflu and bring it back to you. I know, cos I was someone's flu friend this week.
My favourite verson is on http://icanhascheezburger.com/ as it bears the legend "You little bastard! You've killed us all!" It just adds something.
Oh barf...
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