Monday, 4 January 2010

In With the New

Hello! Happy New Year to you, each and every one! How are you? Are you well? Are you happy? Looking forward to the next year? I do hope so. I am.

There are going to be some changes around here, however. For various reasons. One reason is that I’m done besmirching the web with this half-baked life. I’ve been cutting back on soaping my smalls in public for some time now, and although at time it’s tough - for the urge is strong - by and large it’s working out. So much so that I’ve decided to go the whole hog. For various reasons. And I’ve been led to believe that this is quite common, that it happens to a lot of people who blog. Sooner or later, they go the whole hog. Well, it’s happened to me.

Also. I’ve got a job. Not writing words of my own that I care about, no, but not writing words of my own that I don’t care about either. Not writing words at all in fact. Merely editing them, and making up some headlines to boot, which is basically just playing. I’m looking forward to it. Very much. I think the routine will do me good, and hopefully I can learn something about concision along the way, which, I think we can all agree, would be no bad – or in any way unduly negative - thing.

I don’t intend to stop blogging altogether, however. Rather I will write something once a week, something slightly removed from my stomach and my groin and my heart, but still connected to my brain. And maybe my spleen. A review of something I’ve watched maybe. Or read. Or something else. I’m not really sure yet, and as I grope around for ideas now, in the dark of a dank new decade, where the future drops a banana skin and darts off, fast as a badger through a time hole in the wainscoting, I realise this might be much more of a challenge than I have hitherto imagined. But that’s no bad thing either. It's good to be mentally challenged.

So there it is. I'll post it on a Monday. This is the bridging post. Between the old and the new. Next week will be better. (Or worse.)

If you think your day would be brighter for sharing my dreams or my anxiety or drunken come-ons, then please feel free to follow me on Twitter. You’ll also be privy to provocative reportage, devastating cultural commentary, refreshing titbits of philosophical fingerfood and lies.

Oh, and one more thing – the party I talked about last summer… I’d like to have it next summer. The paperback of the book comes out around June so that seems like the perfect time to try and get the publishers to pay for a tiny party. Or even a medium-sized one. It really is the least they can do. But even if they choose not to, because they are too mean, they can go hang. We should just meet in a pub somewhere. What do you think? I’m thinking Friday 4th June, somewhere in London. Are you free?

Let me know in the comments and I hope to see you then.

For now, for the most part, for a while, cheerio.


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nondisbeliever said...



But seriously, who could say no to a party?

Congratulations on the job, by the way. Sounds great for you.

clumpf said...


Anonymous said...

Bonne Année Stan !
Et tous mes voeux pour que 2010 soit la meilleure.
Friday the 4th of june ? That's a very good idea, and it gives plenty of time to get organised.
Uncle did

PurestGreen said...

I shall put 4 June on my calendar. Congrats on the new job. I love your writing but am concerned that your brain will take over and leave your colourful emotions behind. I look forward to my weekly dose of S Cattermole.

Beleaguered Squirrel said...

"soaping my smalls"
Love it.

I'm a bit worried that if I say "I'm free" that'll just convince you to cancel the whole thing, or maybe organise a secret alternative in a different location. But it just so happens that on 4th June 2010 I will indeed be gloriously free to roam from this end o't' country to t'other, and would love to do just that.

janetyjanet said...

diary duly annotated with sparkly glitter and highlighter pen (or as close a facsimile as Microsoft Outlook can provide)

polished off the tome in the limbo salted peanuty wasteland that lies between the 25th and the 1st = final one word summation "fabby"
(sorry, first day back at work today so more penetrating literary criticism escapes me)

mwah xxx

Richard Bartlett said...

Congratulations Stan and a Happy New Year to you.

I've finally polished off the Bete de Jour archive though I now wish I'd taken more time in doing so. You'll no doubt be busier working with less time to post.

I'll keep June 4th free!

Anonymous said...

I'm chuffing coming and you'd better not try to cocking stop me. As long as I can lose this additional stomach that's latched onto me over these past two weeks.

Anonymous said...

Enjoy your new job, but don't be a stranger. I enjoyed your soapy smalls. x

Beleaguered Squirrel said...

And the job does indeed sound brill, and much as I would love to read about your whole life warts and all, it wouldn't really be right for others to suffer for the sake of my enjoyment. Or maybe just a little bit... no. Bad girl. Not.

Zoe said...

I'll pencil the date in

Miss said...

Oh Godammit - I've only just started reading your excellent blog! Good luck with the job, though (although the subs I know seem mostly bored and disillusioned).

shimacat said...

Actually, I think that's a great idea. I started off loving your blog but during the last year your veneer of humourous spleen you cover your underlying spenetic fulminations with has started to get thinner, and I've found myself not reading so often.

You're still funny. And you still have a brilliant turn of phrase. But maybe posting differently and less often will give you your distance back. I'm glad you have a job - and one that doesn't make you want to remove your brain to do it.

You don't want me at your party now, do you?

Swineshead said...

'Wainscoting'. 'Wainscoting'. 'Wainscoting'...

such a beautiful word...

Jake Barnes said...

I'm really pleased for you that you have other priorities to keep you away from your online persona. This blog has obviously been good for you, and your talent and honesty have been great for us, but you do need to live life offline too. After all, that's the bit that counts, in the long run.

But it will definitely be a case of our loss, their gain.

Anonymous said...

Fantastic! And, like a religious seminar, we should all wear nametags to identify one another, so we know who you are, of course, and coz I wanna meet Clumpf. Clumpf is funny. I like Clumpf's comments.

A Twitter friend

B said...

Just as I find a decent blog you leave me!

So selfish!

Ah, well, I suppose i shall ungraciously wish you the very best for the year ahead, you are an extremely talented soul, and whatever you do will surely turn to gold.

All the very best, and I'll keep reading your whatevertheymaybes (you could write out the telephone directory and I'd read it)

Thank you for your soul wrenching thus far, has been most enlightening.

clumpf said...

*Clumpf is blushing*

Very kind of you Anon. I'd also like to meet cocking chuffing Keith.

circus monkey said...

That's right. Save a bit of yourself for yourself. Best Wishes for the New Year.

Anonymous said...

That's the thing about badgers...they're fucking fast *hand gesture*

A party sounds like a great idea. Will there be moonlight and music and love and romance? I hope so.

Anonymous said...

On June 4th next, I shall indeed wander the streets of London until I find you. Wait for me.

La Bête said...

Excellent. Even if only you guys come, I am convinced we can have an excellent time. Seeya!

misspiggy said...

(sob) I'll miss you. And even worse, those of us without much in the way of lives are left with no encouraging details (i.e. about your smalls) with which to obtain closure. Waah indeed!

rawaa said...

Hey. SO what's happening with this party? I've got a party frock on but no venue... Is it tonight?