Friday, 21 November 2008

Feedback Friday :: Balance

bulk :: ?
glad factor :: 8
sad factor :: 2

I confess, I’ve fallen off the health wagon ever so slightly. But that’s OK, you know? It’s allowed. And I’m tackling it. I’ve wiped the crumbs from a thousand chocolate Hob Nobs off of my tee shirt and trousers, my face, my laptop, the walls, the ceiling – I’m like Cookie Monster when I get going, Cookie Monster fending off two Tasmanian Devils. And I’m putting on my smelly old trainers as we speak.

This is the first time in a year I’ve refused to get on the scales. Actually, that’s not true. I did get on the scales, but I didn’t activate the digital readout first, so all I got was the backwards ‘E’. For Doofus. Then, rather than doing it right, I got off and walked away. Walked? Who am I kidding. I ran away. The thing is, I know I’ve put on a bit of weight over the last week. When you weigh yourself a lot, you can feel it, you can sense it as you settle on the scales, you can speak your own weight, to the pound, before the machine tells you. And although all I got was a backwards ‘E’, I knew I’d put on quite a few pounds over the last two weeks.

Actually, I knew even before I set foot on the scales. I knew because I’ve been eating like a scabby horse that’s just escaped from between two mattresses, and I haven’t been to the gym for a week. I’ve been eating out at restaurants a fair bit too, even on my own. I really like eating out on my own. It feels like a really special thing to do. A glorious treat. It feels like a celebration. And I am celebrating at the moment. It’s important to celebrate. Good times don’t come along often enough to let them pass unmarked. So I’ve been squirreling myself away in restaurants and cafés, just me, a book and a three course meal. Maybe a bottle of wine if I really want to celebrate. And a jar of pickled eggs. No, sorry, I’m being silly now. But you know what? That’s OK too. It’s OK to be silly. It may even be important to be silly. In fact, I’m convinced it is. But it’s also important to be serious. Balance. That’s what it’s all about. But also extremes. And at the moment, I feel good. Extremely good. I feel full of magic beans. I feel defiant. Stalker, stalk this.

Some people think that eating out alone is a bit sad. Like going to the cinema alone (which I also enjoy). I don’t feel that way. I think it’s the opposite of sad. I think it’s one of the most joyful, life-affirming, exultant things a human being can do. But then, on the whole, I rather enjoy spending time on my own. I’m a people person for sure, but I’m also a bit of a loner. I’d like to say I’m actually quite a private person, but I think a blog is probably not the best place to say that. But with my time, and sometimes with my space, I’m discriminative. And I find there are few people who really come close to me when it comes to pleasant and comfortable, if not always scintillating, company. Occasionally scintillating though.

Having said all that, I must now say, that now is the time for the celebration to end and life in earnest to begin again. So I’m off to the gym. And then I’m going to the shop to buy some greens.

Aside :: Every time I go to the gym I think of Douglas Adams.

Other news: I’ve come to an arrangement with Keith’s landlord. I’ve paid the rent and I’m going to get the place professionally cleaned, then I’ll hopefully be able to collect Keith’s deposit. I may even deign to offer a part of that back to Keith. But then again I may not. We’ll see.

Then, on Saturday 13 December, I will move into my new home. What makes this remarkable is that one year ago to the day – by which I mean Saturday 15 December 2007 – was the day I started this blog.

Awwww. I like symmetry a great deal.

And I like the fact that I’ll be spending Christmas in North London.

That’s nice.

Now, gym.


So tell me, what do you enjoy doing alone?

And also, what you up to this weekend?

Me? I’m entertaining.

Have fun!

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Boz said...

Blimey I haven't seen the inside of my gym for months. I am well impressed (and slightly envious).

Good luck with the move!

Aiko said...

I daren't go on the scales, it just always depresses me. I think I'd prefer to stay fat then try to lose weight and suffer the agony of seeing that it's made no difference. I feel like I've lost weight but I daren't look.

This weekend I am doing my Samaritans shift from 12-4am on Saturday night/Sunday morning. I've taken to working on Saturdays so that I can pretend I'm busy rather than sit at home realising how lonely I am and how few proper friends I have.

Sorry that's not very positive, just being honest. Enjoy your weekend. xx

catofstripes said...

Alone I can sit and meditate for hours.

This weekend, whisky tasting with a gallon and a half of selected malts to sample. But I won't be doing that alone, which is probably a good thing.

Non, Je ne regrette rien said...

I'm not quite sure I like this new happy-face Bete de Jour. not that you asked or it matters. but anyway. tra la la.

my week-end will consist of cooking dinner for 10 in celebration (?) of my sunday birthday. and trying not to drink too much rum. because I invited a man I lust for. and my co-hostes invited his ex-girlfriend. thanks for shitting on my fucking birthday. blah. since i can't find a pissy outlook here to commiserate with, i'll just bring my own. grr.

oh and do Have a Nice Day! sorry there's no smiley face emoticon to make it complete.

Anonymous said...

I could really do with the money as it happens...

Clare Sudders said...

I like going to the cinema and eating in cafes alone. Have never done a restaurant, I guess cos it would feel too extravagant. Now that you've put the idea in my head I want to do it, but I'm poorer than a church mouse at the mo so can't justify it.

I like doing most things alone, spend a lot of time alone anyway cos I work from home / am currently on maternity leave (well OK then not technically alone but four-month-old baby doesn't really count). I like my own company, which is a nice thing to be able to say. I get twitchy if I don't get time alone. I like people too though. Can't think of anything else particularly remarkable that I do alone, i.e. things that are normally done in company. Days out to stately homes and gardens and stuff. Shopping. Can't stand going shopping with other adults, drives me mad. Kids are all right though. Well, mine are, but mine are very well behaved. I like having sex on my own, sleeping on my own, travelling on my own, going on holiday on my own, doing exercise on my own, working on my own... oh gawd, and I really hate organised teamwork. as a kid I dreaded the phrase "split up into groups" or "form into pairs" and still do. I have a yoga teacher who likes to put us in pairs to do stuff. I hate it. Don't like to have to rely on someone else. I force myself to do it cos I think it's good for me, might cure me of my misanthropy, but it never does. If I work on my own then I only have myself to blame for any mistakes, and don't have to carry anyone else. Rubbish really, but there you go. I'm a control freak.

Clare Sudders said...

Oh and as for the weekend... dunno. Get some jobs done. Finish reading The Book Thief. Great book, but I am a v. slow reader. Have vowed to read a book a week before Xmas which means I have to fiish Book Thief this weekend. May be goign to Marple for the weekend to look after friend's kids. Her dad died last night. Long protracted ugly cancer-related affair. Very traumatic for her. She may want the kids down there with her though, so I don't know about that yet.

Selena said...

I'm not a fan of going to the movies or eating out alone. I will go drink coffee and read a book by myself, walk around my city listening to headphones by myself, go to the park by myself, excercise alone- those kind of things.

I guess if I'm going to go to the movies or out to eat- I'd rather share the experience with others, but to each their own.

Who cares what people think (I do, a little bit.)

This weekend:
Going to the gym- then,
My Kindred spirit moved back home from the Pacific North West. So tonight- tonight we are going to wander around our neighborhood sloshed and merry.
Then Sat.= Gym, Movies and BBQ
Then Sun.= Gym, BBQ & Football (Night Game) Woo Hoo

Have fun Entertaing: "The world is a stage; the stage is a world of entertainment"

P.S. it's ok to fall of track with the healthy thing- the important thing is you've got your sneakers on and are trying again. This is coming from somone who's lost 42 pounds. I might add- that your blog is what inspired me to attempt it in the 1st place, so...erm... Thanks :-)

somechileanwoman said...

I like being alone when I take baths. A couple of weeks ago I thought it would be sexy if my boyfriend would join me. I kicked him out 5 minutes into the bath. When I came back to bed he was asleep so nothing happened -sucketh! So much for my lonely routine.

I had surgery on Monday so my friends and family have spoiled me like crazy. My little brother is taking my kids and I to dinner and a movie tonight. We're going to go see Bolt.

Our Glamorous Heroine said...

Hurray for a happy Bête. I'm glad to see it. Also, what's your new coat like? I have an unhealthy fascination with all things sartorial.

Selena said...


Just go to IKEA and get a replacement from their Customer Service Dept. I used to work at one- believe me they have them.

Or you can just save yourself the head ache and get a set for pretty cheap from a hardware store.

Lainey said...

I like to sing on my own and listen to music really loudly. I like to cry on my own, well I only really ever cry on my own - I hate doing it in front of other people. Apart from last night when I called my ex at 4am and drunkenly cried down the phone to him. Classy move.

This weekend I am going to a club tonight but as yet have been unable to procure some chemical enhancement to help the evening go with a bit more pizazz. Tomorrow I'm going to a beauty sale thing and will buy lots of lovely cosmetics at a bargain price. Pics in the evening and then on Sunday my mum is coming to visit and we'll go for a walk round Edinburgh and to lots of coffee shops (might bump into that guy who was trying to rent you his flat).

Have a good one mister.

La Bête said...

Thanks, Boz.

This weekend I am doing my Samaritans shift from 12-4am on Saturday night/Sunday morning.

That is very positive though. The very deed, I mean. You have my undying admiration. Enjoy your weekend too. x

Cat, aaaaaah. I’ve never managed meditation. One day though. One day. Ommmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Little Sparra, you can’t mean that. Now, come come. Don’t make me tell you what happened when I was four. B-b-b-b-on appétit.

McTavish! Oh, no, it’s you, Keith. I’ll see you alright, mate, don’t you worry about that. What’s mine is yours, you pikey toad, you. By the way, that which I found under your bed? I am smoking it.

Crikey. Touched a nerve there, eh, Suds?! Good luck with the reading. And please don’t mention the C-word round here. Or you have to pay a fine.

Have a great weekend, Selly. And wear a three-horned jester’s crown with bells and feathers on, at least for a couple of hours. Just to practise not caring what people think. Actually, what I’ve discovered over the last year is that the solution to whatever, fear, or whatever, is not so much to be found in not caring what people think, but rather in enjoying the infinite possibility of human thought. Yeah! Do you dig? Man? Dude? Oh, dear. Oh dear, oh dear. My thumbs have gone weird! Oh, and don’t mention it.

Sucketh indeed. I hope the surgery was non-invasive and went like a dream.

La Bête said...

Lainey, hello there. Good luck with the pizazz.

La Bête said...

Oh, OGH, it's a kind of ordinary but super quality big black overcoat thing. It makes me look a little like a doorman, but the doorman of a really fancy place. Where the mafia hang out.

Selena, I found them! A big box of IKEA leftovers. 50 Allen Keys, all getting it on. But thanks anyway.

Anonymous said...

I like dining alone, getting waited on with lovely food, it's such a treat! And the cinema - definitely! But I do that secretly, because I have this weird friend who found out I'd gone to see a movie by myself and didn't think to call and ask if she wanted to join me. I don't always like company. It's too much work sometimes. I really value my alone-time after a long work day too. Hot bath, cold beer, solitude. Ahhhh....

Maria in Oregon

Heidi said...

Sometimes things do work out and I'm happy they have for you.

I relish alone time. As for my favorite alone thing? I think just having a cup of coffee with no interruption is very satisfying to me. It's the little things..

Clare Sudders said...

What is non-invasive surgery, anyway? Isn't surgery by its very nature invasive? Pretty much all involves cutting people open and sticking things inside them, yes?

Anonymous said...

I like going to movies alone. I like climbing steep hills and mountains alone, and poking around temples and shrines and art galleries alone, where I can explore every nook and cranny, and can set my own pace. I like eating at certain places alone, but prefer company. Going to the pub alone kind of sucks, too.

Clare, I never liked pairing up because I thought I would let the other person down. Still feel that often; it's why I don't play team sports. Non, Je ne regrette rien, there is an html which has a smiley face ☺ , it can be found here

Am having people over for tea. Might drink somewhat.

Cat said...

I love taking myself out for lunch by myself with a book, but would rarely go out to eat of an evening alone. I associate that with business trips.

And this weekend I will be mostly hibernating during this Arctic spell.

Anonymous said...

I like to park in the Knox Ozone multilevel carpark and watch all the ppl in the gym opposite running on their treadmills. It's very relaxing.

Anonymous said...

Thanks to you, I've had 'That's Entertainment' stuck in my head all weekend. I had to learn it when I was in pantomimes as a child. Aargh.

When I worked from home, by myself, I hated being alone, because I spent most of my life feeling isolated and pissed off. Now that I have a people-y job, I like being on my own again. In fact, I've spent most of the weekend driving around singing, and going for walks on my own. I took the dog to the beach yesterday, in the snow. Fantastic.

Anonymous said...

i know the dreaded feeling of "fuck, i've gained 10 lbs and don't want to see it on the scale"... my trick? spend some time being good - eating well, working out, excreting regularly - and THEN get on the scale. It's never as bad as i thought it would be, and i can get back on track...

stay with it... i've started running again since 20lbs has crept up on me over the past year. sneaky little pounds...

Vulgar Wizard said...

I enjoy my photography hobby alone.