In my last blog post I gave an account of a recent conversation I had with a shop assistant in a branch of WH Smith. The post gave rise to some stinging controversy in the comments, which on reflection, I thought I’d better address. So, in the name of full disclosure, I feel I should point out at this stage that the account of the conversation I provided last week was not a particularly accurate one. A more accurate version follows here:
Me :: [Handing over a card with the meerkat on it which I was buying for my grandmother, who likes meerkats] Just that please.
Lady :: Are you interested in half price Dan Brown today?
Me :: I’m sorry?
Lady :: You can order Dan Brown’s latest book for half price.
Me: Wow. No, I’m alright actually. And do you have to ask everybody that?
Lady: Aye. Sometime it’s Dan Brown, sometimes it’s half-price chocolates.
Me: Ha! Well, good day to you, Ma’am.
Lady: Good day to you, sir. Do come again!
Sorry if I misled anyone with my slightly doctored version below. It was never my intention to hoodwink or disconcert. I guess I was trying to be funny or something. Please accept my sincere apologies.
In other news, I am in my super spacious new room in London and today - because I think it will do me good - I started reading The Da Vinci Code. At the moment I'm only two chapters in, but I must say, it really is eminently readable.
22 comments:
Bonjour La Bête,
Poor you, having to justify what you write...
It's your own place, don't let the commenters take control !
Uncle Did
"... it really is eminently readable."
Now that really is lowly behaviour.
So you have given in and are now reading Dan Brown? It's a bit like eating a McDonalds burger - you feel good at the time but 10 mins later you are hungry again and totally regret it.
Enjoy while it lasts and try not to get too upset about the geographical inaccuracies. It is, after all, only make believe.
I bet the old Hen is fun at parties. At any rate, I hope she's happier with the literal re-enactment of the scene.
Jennifer!
Traitor.
Ma Bête,
I infinitely prefered the first version on so may levels. However, there is a distinct elegant wrath in the posting of the second.
I clap my hands in delight for finding a master at that most English of English style: the needle sharp polite insult (with a smidgen of poison...). Many many thanks. Count me in with your faithful followers from now on.
BB, Belgique
Heheheh. Knife, get back in the drawer: you're not required today
I would have prefered the half price chocolate!!! :D
Hilarious! This is what happens when your blog is read by more than 12 people.....
They'd have got a well aimed "Fuck You!" round my place, but I understand your methods are a little more civilised...;)
Cheers for the namecheck at the back of yr book! :)
I feel bad now. You fooled us into think you were a twerp to that lady when in fact you were probably the nicest man she'd served all day.
A CURSE BE ON YOU.
The butler did it.
The word "tripe" comes to mind when thinking of the Da Vinci Code.....read it and then used it as a doorstop. You will waste many an hour of your life trying to finish that garbage........many an hour.
Oh god don't do it. And don't let pedantic commenters get you down - if every blog relied purely on *actual* conversations and events it'd be a pretty shit internet. You carry on being your same witty self and we'll keep on reading :)
Never apologise, never explain.
When the British forgot this simple rule they lost the empire.
Do not lose control of your blog.
That's all very well. But can we be guaranteed that you have faithfully and accurately transcribed every word of the conversation?
I agree with notkeith.
Finance Guy was actually me - used somebody else's log in by mistake.
A needless clarification but also an important one.
Oh, how the mighty have fallen!
Oh Christ Stan.
Don't read the shite, it's a waste of eyeball movement.
I was going with the 'don't apologise' faction - your charm is in your boldness, but hey, I enjoyed the implicit sarcasm in your rebuttal anyway.
I loved the first version just the kind of thing I always want to say but am not quite brave enough!
Wow. I just read your "30-year-old virgin" post and laughed so hard I nearly pissed myself.
No wonder you got a bloody book deal.
You spoiled all the fun with your 'Clarification'.
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