bulk :: 13st 8
exercise :: none
even remotely sexual things :: none
back pain :: niggling, proscriptive
marks out of ten for the week :: 5
I’ve got nothing.
All week I’ve been writing this thing I’ve been writing. Trying to. And succeeding for the most part. Monday was a washout though. In the meantime I’ve bitten the bullet and sent out a couple of feelers for proper jobs. Nothing snapping my hand off as yet, but it’s the principle of the thing that’s a bit saddening. I don’t want to do that rubbish if I can help it. I know, I know. Boo hoo.
Seriously though, I’ve got nothing. I’m listening to Eartha Kitt (Ben loves Eartha), I’m using eBay for the first time to try and get myself a chair (back still fucked – next week professional help), my room stinks of abramelin (Crowley’s own concoction apparently, which contains menstrual blood – thanks, Frank), I’m trying to write this thing I’m trying to write and I’m gearing myself up for another weekend without the internet.
That’s it. Oh, and I found this in Ben’s room. Not that I was prying. Found it under his mattress. I can’t help feeling it’s slightly more disturbing than finding weird porn.
I didn't really find it under his mattress by the way - it was in between a couple of books. When I quizzed him about it, Ben said he used to want to be a knitting pattern model, like this guy.
Like that explains anything.
People eh? So, I'm off out in a moment to run some errands and then get uproariously drunk.
And you? What you up to this weekend? Anything
24 comments:
Aw Ben! The shame :P although admittedly when I was younger I wanted to be in musicals... despite the fact I cant really dance well, or act..and would probably only ever get to play a Munchkin...if The Wiz comes to the west end!
What kind of "proper job?" I hope it revoles around writing, it would be a great shame to see your talents wasted!!
OUTRAGEOUS? Well I MAY attend a "house party," with a bunch of students..might be worth it. I cant afford to go out and drink so mgiht as well mooch some drink for free with the added comfort of being on someone's sofa!
Amen to uproariously drunk.And a hail mary.
Is it just me getting slightly turned on by the guy in the woolly jumper? Yes? Oh well ... I'm getting disgustingly drunk tonight with the justification that I haven't managed to drink anything since last weekend's birthday do which included some ill-thought-out Malibu consumption and liver-failure levels of rum and assorted wine. Then I'm going to see the Taiko Drummers tomorrow. With the mother of all hangovers. I'm in Row 6.
Your book is in the local bookshop ready for me to pick up. You better be worth it, Stan.
Dark Kit Kat 'n Mint Aero - alternate bites.
That'll be my weekend, innit.
Ann Anon
Proper job?? Noooooooo don't do it!
I hpe something exciting happens to you over the weeknd.
I plan on giving my liver a workout....
Kate xxx
I might drink some beers. And I will probably harvest my corn and make my variation of Wolfgang Puck's corn chowder recipe. My corn did very well this year. Unfortunately, I killed my tomatoes. Well, not singlehandedly, but with the help of many slugs. I should've used wire cages to keep the fruit high off the ground. Never mind. Hae a good weekend.
Maria in Oregon
How come you have to get a proper job?! Didn't you get a big wad of cash for your book?!
Dancing!
second (and final) weekend of my theatrical ego-fest. thank fuck. will never set foot on a stage again, unless it's to undress an attractive human...
had a friend in school who's life dream was to be a hand model. she had nice hands, but not that nice...
Disturbing? Wendy patterns? Get a grip! I used to love going to the sewing shop every saturday morning and gazing at the array of knitting patterns, I loved the way everyone looked so happy to the point of smugness and for a time I really believed that if I could only knit one of those garments then I too could be happy just like the models. It never happened though, after 6 months of attempting to knit a cardigan I gave in and paid less than half the price of the wool a version from the local market with my birthday money.
Ke sera and all that p*sh.
Doing anything outrageous this weekend? Well I'm off to get a tattoo - is that outrageous enough for ya?
I've just looked up abramelin oil. While it's probably good for antiseptic massage purposes, I reckon Sloane's Liniment or Elliman's Embrocation would do more for your back. Or even less esoteric, Ralgex.
Nicky, you can't go wrong with Malibu. Don't torture yourself.
I love the knitting model. He brings to mind long cuddles and eunuchs.
I am in Seoul, South Korea for the weekend and most of next week, before returning to Blighty. I am doing a lot of drinking and eating and not much sightseeing.
Seoul is a great place to visit, you should go. The beer is cheap (but shite), service is amazing, the city is bustling and there are a million quirky things to do - like going to batting cages, DVD rooms (like a private cinema all for you), weird cafes - like Dr Fish, where you pay for a coffee, cake and the privilige of having fish eat the dead skin off your feet.
Signed, the Seoul Tourist Board.
LL, are you a little person? I wish I was going to a house party. I went to a house party once and tried to kiss a woman. She wouldn’t let me. It was awful.
NK, you’ve just reminded me I’ve got a bottle of vodka. I might buy some tomato juice in a moment and make Bloody Marys. I’m pretty sure I don’t like them though. So I might not. Oh, I don’t know. I’m all confused.
Nicky, yes. Just you. Enjoy the drummers.
By the way, I’m currently in an internet café near my home and I have my iPod on and I’m listening to All My Little Words by the Magnetic Fields. It’s such a wonderful song. I just wanted to share that. Now. Where was I?
AA, you are a disgrace. You should take up a sport. I’m going to buy and eat two packets of cookies in a moment. I hope you enjoy the book.
‘Fraid so, Kate. Miserable, innit?
Pleased to hear about your corn, Maria. Sad to hear about your tomatoes.
No, Petrichoric. I got a very small wad, which was gone in seconds. Seconds, I tell you.
AD, excellent!
DF, that’s odd – your friend wanting to be a hand model. What a strange ambition. People are so wacky.
RQ, it depends – what is your tattoo and where will you be having it?
Anon, I’m just burning abramelin incense, but you’re absolutely right about the Ralgex. I’ve got some Deep Heat somewhere. I shall dig it out this afternoon.
Quite right, Alan. You go, girl.
Anon, you make a very good case for Seoul. In fact, I am adding it to my list of places to go.
Nice one, Gongman. Gongs and sitars. Wicked. I hope you’re on drugs. Bang on.
What about writing articles for magazines/newspapers instead of getting a "proper job". Surely you could easily manage to wangle a spot of freelance writing given that you've got a book out?
I love your blog Bete, I am a new reader who has just read your old posts. The content you address in the hands of a lesser writer may have been uncomfortable reading as smut, a literary Jeremy Kyle. However, you Sir, make smut exquisite. P.s the guy in the woolly jumper is hot!
There's something very comforting about knitting patterns.
I planted some grass seed. The boring kind. But ran out halfway through the lawn and hotfooted it over to B+Q for more, only to find myself five minutes late and confronted by four other similarly-frustrated customers all being told that there was no way they were being let in to the shop.
I also took an ill child to the hostipple and fretted a bit, but the ill child got better (they generally do) so that was a bit of an anticlimax.
Bete, I am only 4 foot 10 so I think the phrase is "vertically challanged," what I lack in height I make up for in....personality by which I mean being a nice person not loud and irritating! Being tiny however does mean I am often unfairly judged, some talk to me like I small and therefore stupid (maybe they think I am a child and they want to talk "Grown up," I have no idea!) But people reach things for me :D I would have DM you all this if I knew how :P rather then spammed your comments section!
Also the house party was a total bust :( Everyone there was really rude. The guys I went with are lovely blokes yet the girls there were all rude and wandered off even they even so much as said hello to them! We left pretty early on but in that time someone decided to set the fire estinquisher off and we got the blame! :O I couldnt even lift one let alone spray it in a strangers home (ooh er :P)
As for the woman you mentioned, well it must have been a "house party," woman, they are all rude so I wouldnt take it personally, from what I have seen aim for the tiny one who turns up in a small group :P I reckon they are the nice ones ;) :P
You’d think so, wouldn’t you, Pet? Turns out it’s not quite so easy.
Thank you, Mirri. I think I just escaped being labelled ‘a literary Jeremy Kyle’. I can’t help feeling quite disappointed.
Hey, BS. Better an anti-climax than… you know, something hideous.
Hey, Lil’ lady! You rabbit away, my girl. Sorry the party was a washout. Fuck ‘em. Remember – small is beautiful.
Seriously, don't drink Malibu. It's not big, funny or clever. And it tastes like suncream
Your reporting "even remotely sexual things : none" is a lie.
Looking at pics of people holding each other like those do in the knitting magazine IS remotely sexual, you know.
Bete, I'm delurking briefly to thank you so much for All My Little Words. I woke up one morning to find that I'd become an Old Fart and now all modern music sounds like the same three irritating songs. Very sad. I now have to rely on music tips from total strangers on the other side of the world, and they don't happen very often. So I thank you for the song; it's sublime, innit?
Have you heard the Lush cover of I Have the Moon?
All shapes and sizes are beautiful Bete :D
The main down side to being tiny apart from what I blabbed on about is being mistaken for a child which at 21 can be a bit awkward to say the least!
Do you still use your Wii fit? Mine has been picking on me lately in reference to my BMI :( stupid BMI!
The tattoo is a star trek inspired one - the federation symbol and it is on my lower back where only the select will see it.
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