Friday, 18 September 2009

Feedback Friday :: Conversation Piece

bulk :: 13st 7
exercise :: none
back pain :: crippling
chair purchase attempts :: 4
chair companies called :: 2
chair purchases :: 0
% of chimps working at chair companies in question :: 100
no. of passionate kisses :: 0
no. of desultory kisses :: 0
decent days of writing done :: 3
marks out of ten for the week :: 5

So. These are the photographs I wanted to show you last week, when I posted that vicious little rant that some of you found a tad off-putting. Interestingly, Ben mentioned something the other night about the slightly unpleasant tone I tend to exhibit. I tried to resist it for a while - because ideally I’d like to have the warmth and amiability and purity of intent that seems to come so naturally to, say, Bill Bryson - but Ben was absolutely right. I am rather negative, and bitter, and certainly cynical, and generally disrespectful, and judgemental. I’m quite the misanthrope really. But I still love it. You know. Everything. I still love everything.

Anyway, here’s something positive for us all to rejoice in, hold hands and dance around. To recap briefly, I discovered this public art in South Shields just a few days before leaving the North East, after missing it regularly for three or four months. It really moved me. It made me feel warm and amiable and pure. And I loved the fact that they hadn’t been vandalised. You can bet your arse they would have been in London. Eh? Bloody Londoners.


Good, huh?

I’m currently leeching internet from a company downstairs (ssshhhh), and they’re about to turn it off till Monday morning, so please ensure that when I check back in then, I have a massive ragbag of comments waiting for me. Come on, it’s easy. Join the conversation! What did you think of the sculptures? Do you like Bill Bryson? Isn’t he nice? Don’t you think TS Eliot looks like Aleister Crowley? Makes you think. What are you up to this weekend? I’m not up to much myself. Writing. I’m trying to write something. Ben and Imogen are both away doing musical things. Imogen’s in the States for a couple of weeks and Ben’s spending the weekend in Dublin. Bloody musicians eh? Life of Riley. Life of O’Riley in Ben’s case. And you? What are you doing? What are you wearing? Do you think I’m needy? Oh, just speak to me, for God’s sake, you motherfuckers!



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Rose said...

I am slightly creeped out and enamored by them at the same time.
These are certainly conversational pieces. The first few photos revolted me; they were so 'in your face' and frightening. Yet, the further I went along I went, the more I began to like them. They were almost cute and friendly.
Nice photos, by the way.
If it makes you feel any better, we're 0 for 0 on any sort of kisses.
I'm starting to feel slightly desperate and am afraid I may get carried away and begin a relationship with a random statue/work of art/tree/imaginary person just for companionship.
Though, I'm pretty sure I've already started an unhealthy relationship with my laptop.

LittleladyJo88 said...

What did you think of the sculptures? I like them :)They remind me of weebles, "they wobble but they don't fall down.

Do you like Bill Bryson? Isn’t he nice? Can't say I know him, but I am sure he is lovely.

Don’t you think TS Eliot looks like Aleister Crowley? yes!

What are you up to this weekend? Having a meal and drinks out all paid for by somebody else :D There is a group of us, it is not just me being a greedy pig of a girl! Drinking, dancing, gym..maybe :P

What are you doing? Right now I am in work sorting out a start date etc for my new job (Oct 19th!)

What are you wearing? Purple top, black 3/4 lengths, my fuck me glasses!

Do you think I’m needy? No more needy then me!

:D There all questions answered

Kirses said...

as ive been out for a long long lunch - i will engage....

Bil Bryson? I find his attitude to New Zealand (where i'm from) quite patronising...

this weekend I mostly trying to continue dealing with a prolonged break up situation..grim..

that is all

Doc said...

Sculptures: Remind me of toys I had as a kid. Weeble Wobbles (but they don't fall down!)

I however do, so am wearing a fat-ass immobilizer on my knee and staring yet another nice knee surgery in the face. Sexy? You bet! Feeling your (back) pain in an all too literal way.

gah! Why do you always make me feel like complaining? I'm usually much more up beat...

(ps-it's the meds ;°)

Anonymous said...

love the sculptures. like a 'sack race' that moves really slowly...

opening night tonight for my latest theatrical adventure. hope we don't suck. and that i can hit those pesky high notes...

Lainey. said...

Ahoy there!

I will probably never get to say this again and so I'm dining out on it as much as possible - I'm going to Brazil! How about that for a Saturday activity?!

Some Chilean Woman said...

Sorry I haven't commented for like, ever. No excuses, other than I don't have the Internet at home, you understand.

At work now, waiting for my shift to be over so I can go see Boyz II Men. I plan on screaming a lot tonight.

I'm alone at the office so I am wearing black shorts, tank top, and flip, I know.

Lovely scultures, but I think of boobs when I see them.

True Lateral said...

Do you think Bill Bryson is ALWAYS like that though? What about when something seriously irks him? Someone might cut in front of him at Seaworld and he could unleash several decades of pent-up anger.

For the record, I'm not at all put off by your ranting. I enjoy a good rant, even if I don't agree with it.

Anonymous said...

Actually I do like Bill Bryson very much. I know his PR person and she got me a very lovely, personal, signed copy of his last book.
Speaking of personal, signed copies of books....and very lovely authors...

Anonymous said...

What am I wearing? My best Bill Bryson avuncular smile, of course. Simply because I enjoyed your photographs so much.

As for this weekend - tonight I'll be going to bed ridiculously early as I have to be up at 4am. Yes, 4 o clock in the am. I'm manning the phones at the local Samaritans branch. I wasn't paying attention when the rota was drawn up, and I've landed the dawn shift.

So, if you're feeling blue tomorrow morning, overwhelmed with sadness because you can't find a comfortable chair, remember - Samaritans are here for you in your time of distress.

However, if you are planning to call, please do so after 8.30am. I'll have gone home by then.

On Sunday I'm driving up to the heart of the beautiful Lake District, to run this half marathon;

I bet that link didn't work. But if it did, scroll down and look at the lovely scenery which surrounds the race course. Ain't it swell?

By the way, your weight seems to be tumbling, eh?


Pueblo girl said...

Beautiful sculptures, but speaking of vandalism my first impulse would be to try rocking one. They look so much like an adult's version of Weebles. Did you try?

OOAK babies by Mina said...

Oh Stan, cut it out! At least I detect a hint of warmth this time round.;) By the way you ignored by facebook message.
Moving on....the sculptures are cool and freaky at the same time, to the point where my littlest would be terrified of them. But better than our bronze pigs! Go to google images and type in bronze pigs, Adelaide ;)
This weekend we have a soccer presentation night (and get heavy on the free drinks), then I'm doing the paparazzo thing and photographing the team sunday morn.
Thanks for asking/ caring (?!)

OOAK babies by Mina said...

oh forgot to mention I am wearing black flannel pants, a woollen jacket, and barefoot. (hey, it's bum-around Saturday morning!) Is that creating a lovely enough visual for you

Mrs. Holly Hall said...

what were they made of?

clumpf said...

I love your bitterness. It's marvellous.

Are those fellows on spacehoppers?

Brigitte Bordeaux said...

Thanks for the name of the artist, Bête. I once bumped into 3 of his sculptures next to one or other historic building and never wrote it down... Like you I took several photos of them as they grabbed me by the proverbial balls. Now I need to find the photos back (still on paper) somewhere in the mass of boxes that hold my life and belongings.
Things to do this weekend: work Saturday afternoon, have Sunday lunch at Mother's with the family, waste time on the wiggly web whilst listening to Eels, handwash my delightful delicates, catalogue my shoes, some ironing, watch my nail varnish dry... The exciting life of a middle aged single woman, quoi...
Thank God there's your blog (archives) for some stimulation. Don't hold back on the poison, my beastie. It has been a great source of entertainment since I found you. x

BPP said...

Have you tried 400mg Ibuprofen? I've just had a nasty gum infection, and those little buggers cut through the pain like a knife through human flesh. Forget Nurofen, Stan, get y'self some generic 400mg Ibuprofen for your back.

This weekend I'm drawing Black Sabbath's drummer, cooking a roast dinner and polishing off writing another chapter of my badly-researched Victorian detective novel.

Antipo Déesse said...

Bill Bryson was my literary hero, but now you are.

When are you holding a coronation ceremony for your newly appointed Queen of Sycophants?

Henk Van Vleck said...

Chair store chimps: 100%

I was anticipating incandescent rage from you Bête. Bring the fury, the crimson slush of another low value corporate automaton crushed.

Or as someone I much admire once said:

I can feel your anger, now release your hatred..

Wisewebwoman said...

Your body is slenderizing, BDJ. As with slenderizing of any kind, the mind gets bitier (pun intended), seconding the mouht to chew on people, places and things. I know whereof I speak. There is something about the solace of fat that censors the tongue.
Me too. Writing this weekend. Too many writing projects. Good complaint.
I love the project and the angle of your photos. I am a little haunted by them, actually.

Running Queen said...

I love the sculptures they bring to mind a bunch of weebles playing chess or something. (Or they do if you have an imagination like mine).
I also love Bill Bryson despite the fact he slagged my home town in "Notes from a small island" but I forgive him this as he wrote "A Walk in the Woods" which is hilariously funny.
This weekend is a long weekend on account of Monday being a public holiday (here in Scotland anyway) but unfortunately I am running around like a headless chicken as my house goes up for sale on Tuesday and I need to get it looking worthy enough of someone paying money to live here so I can move closer to work and not spend 3 hours a day travelling to work. Enough of my rant now though I must cast my vote for Strictly Come Dancing before the lines close - are you voting for anyone?

Petrichor said...

Yes, you are extremely needy, but that's a lot more endearing than being a judgemental prick about the North East as you were last week.

As for commenting, I asked you a question in the last comment I left which I don't recall you answering. If you want new readers to come back, then responding to them when they try to engage YOU in a dialogue wouldn't hurt.

maurita said...

Just love them! I'm sure they have a meaning for each person. At least their more interesting compared to the figures we have in our mall down in Adelaide, 3 gold pigs sniffing each other, wtf does that stand for? I have to send a pic, they are quite amusing.

Yes you are bitter & cynical, but those traits do add to your character, I really don't think your writing would be the same if you were sweet & innocent.

Great sculptures, I do love that they are imperfect, I think I should start sculpting, although I have been watching Ghost a lot lately, thinking I might take up pottery.

misspiggy said...


I do like your Weeble people, they are most cheering. I am currently having a lovely time in Exeter escaping from life for a few days. I don't think it's possible to do misanthropy here - but keep yours coming, I wouldn't be without it.

sometime commenter said...

I doubt that they've all deserted you, but I saw your comment box empty. I must have just popped over as you wrote this. Lovely sculptures, but I don't know about Eliot. I really like these sculptures. They make me smile, too. It might look like there's only one and there are two, and I don't know if they are the originals or not, but they're currently in Niigata as part of the Niigata land and water art festival.

Oh, I remembered you moderate your comments, so it's highly unlikely I'm first. Anyway, just in case I am, here's enough blather, I hope, to give you a warm fuzzy feeling.

The Princess said...

Hey it's called being discerning. All too often it's mistaken for negativity.

This weekend I went to see Elbow at the MEN. It was great and much more entertaining because we were on the top tier and my mum (who was with me) is scared of heights. She was terrified. She got used to it in the end though.

I also spent some time with my sister and her daughter who is 11 months old and much funnier than any of the adults that I know.

Today I went for a 5k run. Yes!

Anonymous said...

I discovered your blog having read the book; as usual I did things arse about face. Your writing is mordant,searingly self-critical and fresh. I am a compulsive yet highly critical reader. Please keep writing.

Anonymous said...

The statues are gorgeous. Happy, whimsical and jolly. They remind me of Weebles. You just wanna hug one.

Bill Bryson's writing is trite. I can never get through one of his books coz I find him irritating, although I liked his travel series years ago.

I wearing pajamas. Not sexy at all!

You mustn't pay any attention to what anyone thinks of you and be wary of anyone who volunteers their assessment of you and/or your personality traits. In my experience those type of people are often narcissists. Cynicism can be funny and you wouldn't be nearly as hilarious as you are without it. There is nothing unpleasant about your tone - not in print anyway, although you have made some outrageous comments that are so outrageous they're funny. Ben needs to keep his opinions about you to himself.

You will twist yourself into a pretzel trying to be appealing to everyone you meet and you will cease to be @scattermole and therefore no longer appealing to those of us who read your blog and tweets.

A Twitter friend

egg said...

since i always follow instructions:

-What did you think of the sculptures?
*eeeh, i've seen better.

-Do you like Bill Bryson? Isn’t he nice?
*who? (i'm sure i'd love ol' billy if i knew him, though)

-Don’t you think TS Eliot looks like Aleister Crowley?
*ha! they really do share a resemblance... i never noticed. :)

La Bête said...

Thank you everyone for your comments.

Wellington. Well I never. Good for you.

Pueblo Girl – yeah, they’re immovable.

Mrs Hall – they’re made of solid bronze.

Petrichor, I… oh, nothing.

Anonymous said...

This is frickin' funny:

Hey Stan, sun's out in Landan, innit.

Ann Anon

Beleaguered Squirrel said...

The sculptures are lovely. The weekend has already gone but I did gardening and vomiting, in that order. Bill Bryson is a right wing twat but annoyingly nice for all that. You are entertainingly misanthropic and I wouldn't have it any other way, but I'm still not at all convinced that your meatballs-and-gravy cover story isn't just exactly that and you are in fact secretly posh.

Weren't you supposed to be throwing a party in London in September? Hurry up about it, you've got just over a week left. If it helps, I wouldn't be able to come (although I would be really really annoyed about that).