Ah.
His name is not Keith.
Um...
No. I've got absolutely nothing to say.
Monday, 24 March 2008
Everybody’s Blogging Nowadays
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...an ugly man's guide to life, love and happiness.
Contact
If you would like to say hello or how'd you do or just give me a piece of your mind, please feel free to drop me a line at karlpwebster AT gmail DOT com. Thanks.
My Most Significant Moments...
- My First Time With A Lady
- My Second Time With A Lady
- My First Time With An Animal
- My First Time With A Virtual Lady
- My First Bash At Online Bingo
- My First Speed Date (Part One)
- My First Speed Date (Part Two)
- My Best Friend's Girl
- My First Real Grief
- My First Funeral For A Friend
- My First School Reunion
- My First Bout of Air Rage
- My First Attempt At Parody
Order The Book Now!
...or have a good old gander before you order...
BROWSE INSIDE... but remember, once you've browsed, you are legally obliged to buy at least three copies.
What People Say About The Book
'Fave book of the year. Ace... I laughed lots and cried twice.'
'Glorious. Brutal, tragic, funny.'
'...one of the most exciting new literary talents of 2009.'
'Cattermole… has been described as one of the hottest literary talents of 2009. And his book is every bit as good as his blog….'
- Sky News
'...I enjoy reading Stan Cattermole’s writing as much as I enjoy Mark Twain and Charles Dickens and Kurt Vonnegut. In fact, I have rarely read anything more painfully humorous and delightfully moving.'
In a nutshell..
- La Bête
- I am a good man - loving and funny and true - wrapped in the body of a brutal, brutal mess. I also have a face like a bag of elbows. This is my curse. If you see me limping down a London street, do not judge me - because you do not know me. Just give me a smile, or if that proves too difficult, please try to look away without wincing. It really is the least you can do.
Qype. The London Entertainment Guide
Artist in Residence (although not this residence)
Feed de Jour
Confess Your Sins :: Cleanse Your Soul
Self-Publicity :: While My Own Trumpet Gently Weeps Spit…
‘I'm sorry but this blog is way too good for an amateur. It’s either William Leith or Irvine Welsh….’
- Hendo
'...superb, hovering somewhere between Dostoevsky, Wodehouse and Adrian Mole....'
- Tim Footman
‘Hilarious and hot, all in one. How refreshing.’
- Bittersweet-Me
‘Funny, well-written, touching… addictive and fast-gathering a cult following.’
- Rachel from North London
‘You are such a wanker, you really are! People like you make me wanna vomit. My got [sic] the world would be such a dull place if you had your way, wouldnt [sic] it?’
- Anonymous Sebastian Horsley fan
‘[Bete de Jour] is an awesome writer, and has the balls to write about some ridiculously personal stuff…. Read his 'significant moment' posts… they're all great, and revealing, and refreshingly honest.’
- TheTelf
‘I salute your great honesty, unless you made it up, in which case I salute your great dishonesty.’
- Larry Teabag
‘Wonderful, wonderful writing! I fear you've become my new addiction.’
- SJ
‘I bloody love MDMA. Yum yum.’
- Roszs Bif
‘You're hilarious!’
- Mary Setrakian
‘You know, I reckon with that whole self-effacing thing going on, you're not going to need to shell out for whores - we girls are suckers for that stuff….’
- Glamourpuss
‘Like other readers of your wittily-penned blog, I think you are likely to find your next partner by the power of your typing fingers and creative thoughts....’
- Shimacat
‘You are a beautiful person. Period.’
- Jessica Rae
‘I never even knew that cats liked marmite.’
- EmmaK
‘I love how you write, I love your Blog, and I love you.’
- Ginny
‘You write beautifully, BDJ. This can only spring from the beauty you are.’
- wisewebwoman
‘And there I was thinking you'd never top the cat porn… You share my love of subverting the sex genre...’
- Luka
‘Before I read this, I don't remember the last time I laughed out loud at my computer.’
- Ryan Lawson [It was ten minutes earlier]
‘You swing between extremely touching, confessional posts and flat-out, totally wrong but right, hilarity.’
- Hank Kingsley
‘Bloody amazing stuff. I'm definitely nominating you for something when blog awards season rolls around.’
- Sir Garence
‘Your blog is really good and interesting, even when you are writing about disgusting things like vomit and poo.’
- Uncle Did
‘I knew it! Surely there had to be something worth reading out there in Blogland. And now I've found it. I did read the one track mind girl for a while, but then everyone told her she was a good writer, so she started writing like someone trying to be a writer, which was tiresome. I hope that doesn't happen to you… More power to your elbow(s).’
- Brian
- Hendo
'...superb, hovering somewhere between Dostoevsky, Wodehouse and Adrian Mole....'
- Tim Footman
‘Hilarious and hot, all in one. How refreshing.’
- Bittersweet-Me
‘Funny, well-written, touching… addictive and fast-gathering a cult following.’
- Rachel from North London
‘You are such a wanker, you really are! People like you make me wanna vomit. My got [sic] the world would be such a dull place if you had your way, wouldnt [sic] it?’
- Anonymous Sebastian Horsley fan
‘[Bete de Jour] is an awesome writer, and has the balls to write about some ridiculously personal stuff…. Read his 'significant moment' posts… they're all great, and revealing, and refreshingly honest.’
- TheTelf
‘I salute your great honesty, unless you made it up, in which case I salute your great dishonesty.’
- Larry Teabag
‘Wonderful, wonderful writing! I fear you've become my new addiction.’
- SJ
‘I bloody love MDMA. Yum yum.’
- Roszs Bif
‘You're hilarious!’
- Mary Setrakian
‘You know, I reckon with that whole self-effacing thing going on, you're not going to need to shell out for whores - we girls are suckers for that stuff….’
- Glamourpuss
‘Like other readers of your wittily-penned blog, I think you are likely to find your next partner by the power of your typing fingers and creative thoughts....’
- Shimacat
‘You are a beautiful person. Period.’
- Jessica Rae
‘I never even knew that cats liked marmite.’
- EmmaK
‘I love how you write, I love your Blog, and I love you.’
- Ginny
‘You write beautifully, BDJ. This can only spring from the beauty you are.’
- wisewebwoman
‘And there I was thinking you'd never top the cat porn… You share my love of subverting the sex genre...’
- Luka
‘Before I read this, I don't remember the last time I laughed out loud at my computer.’
- Ryan Lawson [It was ten minutes earlier]
‘You swing between extremely touching, confessional posts and flat-out, totally wrong but right, hilarity.’
- Hank Kingsley
‘Bloody amazing stuff. I'm definitely nominating you for something when blog awards season rolls around.’
- Sir Garence
‘Your blog is really good and interesting, even when you are writing about disgusting things like vomit and poo.’
- Uncle Did
‘I knew it! Surely there had to be something worth reading out there in Blogland. And now I've found it. I did read the one track mind girl for a while, but then everyone told her she was a good writer, so she started writing like someone trying to be a writer, which was tiresome. I hope that doesn't happen to you… More power to your elbow(s).’
- Brian
Things you may have missed...
-
▼
2008
(192)
-
▼
March
(15)
- Feedback Friday :: No Hard Feelings
- Everybody’s Free (To Wear A Paper Bag)
- Everybody’s Blogging Nowadays
- Love Is Natural and Real, But Not For Such As You ...
- Good Friday Feedback :: Happy Easter!
- The Things You Find On the Internet When You Shoul...
- The Things You Find On the Internet When You Shoul...
- When Is a Good Samaritan Not a Good Samaritan? Whe...
- Feedback Friday :: Turns Out I’m Really Not That B...
- Enough to Put You Off Sex For Life
- How to Find Love Using Totally Idiotic Videos
- Feedback Friday :: Happy Birthday, Keith!
- Sebastian Horsley Belongs In Jail. Let’s Put Him T...
- I Sound My Barbaric YAWP Over the Roofs of the Wor...
- The End
-
▼
March
(15)
12 comments:
You got with your best friend's ex?
And he's very possibly about to be diagnosed with MS?
Ow.
Beast indeed!
whoops
He is funny, tho
oh my!!! no wonder you weren't telling us about the special lady!!!
Wow. He's a bit of a twat, actually, isn't he?
Hmmm... this whole impending trainwreck, while gloriously entertaining, is a bit Home & Away for my liking.
(BTW - the twatness was referring to Keith, not Bête)
Wow. Well, I guess Patricia needed a re-bound guy and a revenge shag. Good of you to supply both, but possibly a little naive to think it was anything else.
But I guess universal balance has been restored.
Puss
You slept with Patricia? Thats really really low...
Hey, not-Keith. At least you were right about Patricia only fucking Stan to get back at you. That must make you feel at least a little less like singing Smiths songs....?
I tried to post this on not-Keith's own site, but it wouldn't let me ('cos I ain't no blogger, man). So I'm using Stan to get to not-Keith (just like Patricia did).
Sorry Stan.
I wasn't actually referring to him starting the Blog in some kind of "revenge" against Stan when stating my opinion of his twatness.
It was more his writing style, overuse of "fuck" etc.
God damn, what a train wreck! And it's all so public. And getting with your best friend's ex!!! Stan, you have no shame, none at all. Tsk, tsk.
Some of these responses are almost as entertaining as the drama found on the blogs.
Reading this stuff sort of has the same effect on me as watching Jerry Springer. God, I love my life.
Sorry Stan. Sorry Keith. Sorry Patrica.
-Tamara
Oh yes. Finding a blog by someone you know, where you find out that things are not quite as they were telling you?
Um, indeed. Tell me about it. Very funny.
Good blog, by the way. Linked.
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