I received the following email this morning, from Patricia:
It would appear that I'm suffering from a terrible inertia today - I can't seem to do anything to its conclusion. The kids are with their nan, I have no work till Wednesday and as a result, I am STILL IN MY PYJAMAS. I keep half-doing things, then making a coffee and wandering round. Plus people keep ringing me. I know lots of people in need at the moment. And it’s good because their needs take my mind of my own.
Anyway, I’ve come to a decision about our mutual friend “Keith”. Basically, I read that blog your friend recommended and I realised that in many ways I’ve had a lucky break. So much of what this stranger wrote rings true - “too much hurt, too many impulsive actions” - and I’ve decided that I’m not going to try and patch things up with “Keith”. He’s never betrayed me with anyone else before, as far as I know, but he has hurt me with his impulsiveness – putting himself before me, always putting himself before me, to such an extent that I don’t really matter. Richard never did that. Richard put me first always. He loved me. He truly loved me. And then he died. Nice one, God. Fair play to you.
When it comes to the way they both treated me at least, “Keith” has nothing on Richard. I do love him, "Keith", but as far as I can see it, he doesn’t know how to love properly. People who know how to love properly don’t sleep around. I think it’s that simple. Maybe they can learn how to love. Maybe “Keith” could learn how to love me. Maybe. But that’s too bad because I’m not going to give him the opportunity. He can learn to love someone else. And I can find someone else who doesn’t find loving me SUCH A FUCKING CHALLENGE.
I’ve told “Keith” this already. He was here all day yesterday trying to convince me that he’s right for me. I want you to post this on your blog because it was your blog that led me to Javaira’s blog and I think if I hadn’t read that, there is every chance I would have forgiven “Keith” and stayed with him. And that would have been the wrong decision. I deserve better than that. I know he’s your best friend so I’ll understand it if you choose not to put this on the internet but I want you to. I want you to finish the story. Because it’s definitely finished.
I know this will hurt “Keith” too, but that’s too bad. Like Javaira said – “If he can still face everyone after this, then he is learning to face himself.” You’d be doing him a favour.
I’m feeling sorry for myself now and I know this will pass. I know that I have to be strong now, when I feel weakest. I have to say no. “Keith” wants me back. I have to say no.
Anyway, howareyou? It's a miracle that I've finished this email. You should be honoured. Hope this find you very happy, nibbling on some delicious unhealthy elevenses.
Ten minutes ago, I received this email from Keith:
Yeah, whatever, I’m really not arsed. I suppose if she wants you to stick it online, it would be churlish of me to stand in her way. I hope it gets you some new readers.
So there it is. I’m going round to see Keith tonight too, so there appears to be no bad feeling. So that’s good. Unless of course, he plans to poison me and bury me under his patio. (If I haven’t blogged again by Friday, please notify the authorities.)