Friday, 23 October 2009

Feedback Friday :: Nothing To See Here

Right then. Here we are.

This will be sloppy. Not half-hearted, but probably at most third-brained. I’ve been working. Two full days immersed in a world of SMEs and CEOs, audits, buy-outs and chubby men smiling money smiles in shiny ties and proper trousers. It’s really quite tiring. All I want to do is go and watch the telly.

I shall resist, however.

So, news. Time over event multiplied by inherent appeal. I have none. Indeed, apart from work, which saps the soul but enriches the other bits that quite like getting out of the house once in a while and earning a few bob, I am a hollow bone. It’s all rather unenlightening really. I don’t even want to talk about it.

I think the worst thing about work is the time it takes. It’s like – if you take it seriously – it takes up most of your life! There’s almost no time at all to do anything else. This week, for example, I was going to write a scintillating, coruscating piece about that bad egg, Barbara Ellen, escaping under the radar of Jan Moir’s odium and managing to get away not only with writing wholly misjudged tosh about internet paedophiles being lazy, but also this: ‘People should not feel obliged to switch off their mobile phones in theatres.' What a silly fucker. I was also going to get over the feelings of futility that have sprung up about something I was trying to write, pick up where I left off and bring it to swift, satisfactory and profitable conclusion. I was going to get hold of a rug that would really tie the room together. I was going to track down Danny Wallace and persuade him to let me write his column in Shortlist. Because it’s crap. And then I was going to brush his hair flat for him and insist that he stop raising his right eyebrow like a particularly charmless nonce. I was going to learn to play the piano. I was going to write a song about a paedophile called Never Too Old For A Cuddle. I was going to be something. I was going to be a contender. Instead of a blithering toad, which is what I am.

What about that Nick Griffin, eh? They should get him on Have I Got News For You and crucify him.

Balls, I’ve got to go to sleep. Got to be up early. ‘Work while you have the light,’ said the philosopher. ‘You are responsible for the talent that has been entrusted to you.’


Have a nice weekend now. I will be drinking heavily and fixing my bike. And you? What will you be doing? Anything ring-looseningly cool?

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lilianavonk said...

{{massive hugs}} I don't suppose this comment will be particularly appreciated, but I am compelled to make it nonetheless.

As someone with major depression and who at one time had major drug and alcohol problems, you know you're not doing yourself any favours with the booze, right? It may temporarily blur the pain but it will take your neurotransmitters that much long to re-stabilise, hon. (Assuming they were halfway stable to begin with, of course. ;)

I don't wanna come off all preachy here, but one of the things I hate most is to see good people in such needlessly avoidable pain. ♥

Antipo Déesse said...

I may indulge in something rather wedding ring-looseningly cool.

Tim Footman said...

I will spend the weekend making improper suggestions to Bonnie Greer.

Anonymous said...

I'm spending this evening at a party on a boat, on the Thames, with burlesque dancers to entertain us. I shall have to cover the eyes of my nice Christian boyfriend. I'm planning to spend the rest of the weekend being thoroughly indolent, after a mind-spinningly busy week at work. Work, eh. Tires you out.

gongman said...

Work is a four letter word....

Happily enough the universe created a situation where I don´t do it anymore (I don´t count playing the gongs as work)

Concert this Sunday in a medieval church with fabulous acoustics.There will probably be more people in the church than on any other Sunday in the year...Are you reading this,big guy in the Vatican :)

Nicky said...

Going Christmas shopping, I kid you not. I'm off to Australia and New Zealand next weekend for a wee while, and I'm damned if I'm buying my gifts in the last two weeks of the year along with millions of emotionally destitute cretins

Anonymous said...

I wholeheartedly agree about the Danny Wallace column. I read this week's and thought it the height of banality. He seems to be desperately trying to channel Jon Ronson's Out of the Ordinary column, but failing in the most self-conscious and laboured way. You can show my comment to the Shortlist people, if you like.

Confused said...

Im off out with friends tonight for a drink or twelve, tomorrow im going to get my hair cut, pay some bills and meet and old friend for coffee, proberably with a massive hangover. Then saturday night im being taken out for dinner by a rather lovley guy, hes even insisted on paying (although id rather go dutch) and a place of my choice! then sunday catching up with my sister and more friends until monday when its back to the same old world of work! have a good weekend :-)

Anonymous said...

I aim to indulge in the slobtastic. Phones off;hermit on. I am peopled out. I shall also roll 'n smoke absolutely bloody loads of phat ones and may even overheat the dvd/tv/laptop.

I'm also going to email you. Just to say hello and all that.

Scintillating, huh?

Ann Anon

LilladyJo88 said...

I will spend the weekend waiting till pay day, cuddled up eating KFC :D Went out last night! On a work night! I am that crazy ;) ;) Dont be sad Stan :( you seem a lovely intellegent chap!

misspiggy said...

hee hee you have made me laugh - hope you have a blistering weekend and forget your wage-slave troubles.

I will be celebrating a 70th birthday (someone else's) and trying not to catch swine flu. But that's OK because last weekend was much more exciting (met a prince and had dinner at his palace) so I am prepared to take a little sedateness for now.

ricardopresto said...

Right then (I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one who says that - I've been threated with death several times at work for saying "right then" before doing anything at all): Barbara Ellen wrote an article suggesting that internet porn had uncovered a social strata of people who, while they might look at child porn on their computers, would never actually fiddle with kids in real life. She did not, as many people (in the comments section) seem to imagine, suggest that these people should get off their arses and fiddle with some real kids. Also, she did not suggest that this kind of "second hand" child abuse was in any way more forgivable than actual abuse of children. Most of the comments following the article completely misunderstood the point she was trying to make. I'm surprised and disappointed that you seem to be making the same mistake. I hope I'm wrong x

Beleaguered Squirrel said...

I will be recovering from 40th birthjday paryiesd and reflecting on how lpsee... how lopsie... how loose and niethr and fidgety it has all become.

Yes. That.

Beleaguered Squirrel said...

Hmmm. Don't even remember typing that. Was very drunk.