Friday, 9 October 2009

Feedback Friday :: Wet

No time for a proper feedback post this week due to proper job search and angry neighbour downstairs covered in my flatmate’s dirty bathwater and – if Ben is as grubby as I – piss. What a day. I say, what a day.

It has ended on a good note though, as something I’ve written has finally got into the B3ta newsletter. I’ve been trying to get in B3ta for years, sending my own stuff in – sometimes as me, sometimes as some wanking sockpuppet or other – but with no luck. So I’m pleased. I think I’ll celebrate by getting really drunk and making inappropriate advances to the plumber when he (or she) gets here. Alright, alright, he.

Now my internet is about to go off for the weekend – hopefully for the last time – should have my own sorted out on Monday.

In the meantime, have a splendid weekend and if you’re new here, you might want to consider a) sleeping with me b) buying my book or c) a delightfully seedy combination of the two. Oh, and leave a comment! If you want.

Anyway, what are you up to this weekend? Anything seriously fucking brilliant?

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EmmaK said...

I will be carving scary pumpkin masks and scattering the seeds in the garden. Would love to scatter seeds one day with you too!

Anonymous said...

Not unless making a giant pot of yummy beef stew with red wine is seriously fucking brilliant. But I'll enjoy it.

Maria in Oregon

Anonymous said...

Yes, tomorrow morning I'll be doing "British Military Fitness" training advanced class - my first time. I'm really nervous and excited.

Btw unlike you I consider myself good looking and also unlike you I have not yet lost my virginity or been on a date or anything.

I hope that makes you feel a bit better about yourself.

Running Queen said...

Congratulations on the publication!I'm sorry I've never heard of b3ta but I'm going to have a gander over the weekend as it sounds interesting.
I do hope you are going to explain how the angry neighbour is covered in bath water and piss though - how can you draw us all in with a comment like that just before teh internet is turned off?! You have to tell us more! I have after all read your book (the local library had a copy and I was the first person to read it) and I would sleep with you - but only if you told me the rest of the bath-watergate story that is. What do you say?

Sarah said...

I have just read your book and now I'm considering sleeping with you. Since you asked so nicely.

True Lateral said...

Today, carb loading and sunning myself and generally doing as little as possible. Tomorrow, carb unloading and the Birmingham Half Marathon and then doing as little as possible.

Belated congratulations also on your previous post(s), I now feel like I owe you 80 quid.

BPP said...

You've been trying to get on that newsletter thing for years? You've obviously been doing something wrong, Stan. I've ended up on there twice, and all I did was stick a pair of tits on a dog, and then start a blog about farting celebrities.

Apparently, appearing on this newsletter's A GOOD THING, though I have no idea why. All I got out of it was a load of wankers turning up on my site licking my arse. Sycophantic bastards, the lot of 'em.

P.S. Hope your back's better, you miserable sod.

Anonymous said...

a) was considered from the first time of reading your blog

b) has already happened

c) juxtaposition is unlikely

Samuel said...

Good work sir! I am one of you recent B3ta readers! :) Liking the blog, keep up the good work! Might check out your book too... in fact it has just been added to my Amazon basket! :)
Take it easy,

Glasjay said...

Howdy doody?
I got to your blog via the b3ta newsletter and I just wanted to say I'm really enjoying it though I shan't be sleeping with you :)
As for doing something bloody brilliant this weekend I'm off to Blackpool tomorrow for a week!

God Mark II said...

hey there, found you through B3ta and have spent most of the day reading through your blog. Stunning stuff, sir. Your powers of writing has earned my envy. godspeed.


Donna Deluso said...

B3TA looks a lot like Popbitch? Is it by the same people. This weekend I baked a delicious lemon and bluberry cake - that was the highlight. Tres rock 'n roll!

La Bête said...

That sounds like fun, EmmaK, and potentially sexy. But I could be wrong about that. Am I?

It is, Maria. It is.

Hello, Anon. I feel OK about myself in general at the moment anyway, but thanks for the positive thoughts. After reading your comment, I find myself wondering how old you are and why you’ve never been on a date or anything. Don’t you have yearnings?

RQ, nothing spectacular, honest. Just a leak from the bottom of a bath tap which has now been replaced. I like the idea of my book being in libraries. I like libraries.

Hello, Sarah. Excellent. Let me know when you’ve reached the end of your period of consideration. Then we can do it.

Thanks, TL. I hope you’re feeling OK after your half-marathon. I wish I had just run a half-marathon. How I envy you.

BPP, the reason you featured in B3ta in the past was probably because it’s a predominantly visual thing for people with, generally, short attention spans. Text-heavy stuff tends not to feature. Do you see? I saw your farting celebrity blog once, when I was researching you with a view to retaliating after your ‘failed writer’ cracks on WWM. It was then that I realised that you had the mind of a pre-pubescent boy and were not really worth bothering with.

Anon, we need action here, not words. Action!

Hey, Sam. Thank you!

Hi, Glasjay. If it is remotely possible, have a fantastic time in Blackpool.

Hey, Chris. Thank you. Now please throw away your Ninja Turtles tracksuit. It’s doing you no favours.

Mike said...

I found you via b3ta as well - and am a little pissed off that they haven't mentioned you before, as I feel late to the party.

Fantastic writing, and a lot I can relate to. Unfortunately.

La Bête said...

Cheers, Mike. Don't worry. The party is just hotting up. Careful not to step in the vomit though.

Donna, I missed you before. Do excuse me. B3ta is much better than Popbitch in that there are some very creative and talented people actually doing something and not just a bunch of media fuckwits recycling uninteresting stories and old jokes. In my terrifyingly humble opinion.

Rojaws said...

OK, so I arrived here via B3ta as well, and have now spent the entire weekend at work reading the blog from first post to last.

And I hate you, you talented git.

Anyway, just as words of encouragement, Im a horribly fat git who spent until my early 30's looking for love. And I found it. Shes a fantastic firebrand of a woman, short, dusky, gorgeous and most importantly, she loves me.

So much so that the daft cow agreed to marry me. Six years later, were still together and going strong.

Take heart geezer, it will happen. If someone like I, who, (to plagiarize someone that I cant remember) had to look out for Greenpeace activists who would come and try to rub Lard on me and roll me back into the sea if I ever ventured to the beach, can find a senorita to fall for my charms, then so can you.

I still hate your writing talent though :-)

Running Queen said...

Boring story but I guess I owe you a shag now.
Libraries have been my sanctuary for many a year; bless that man "Saint" Andrew Carnegie - a fellow Scot don't you know.

BPP said...

Perhaps I could get on there for a third time by writing a 'hilarious' response to some junk mail?

Nah, fuck that. I was doing that sort of shit three years ago.

La Bête said...

Cheers, Rojaws. And good for you. Long may you reign.

RQ, I’d like to cash my shag in in a library then, please. That would be quite sexy. Sssshhh!

BPP, shush now.

Swineshead said...

For a self-confessed ugly man, you come across as incredibly vain sometimes, Stan.

Saying 'my incredibly humble opinion' doesn't automatically invest you with humility.

I'm just saying, like.