This is most probably the last mention I will make of these bingo-touting swine, as Thomas Brown of Topspot Promotions is apparently not talking to me anymore. I sent this last email first thing on Monday morning...
Dear Mr Brown
I must say, I am very disappointed not to have received a reply to my last email. A less trusting soul might come to the conclusion that you’re welshing on our deal! I, however, am prepared to give you the benefit of the doubt. You’re probably just busy doing your important work.
The reason I’m writing again is actually not to remonstrate with you (fear not!) but rather to share with you some very good news. Despite the reservations your client had about my promotional piece, I published it on my blog anyway and I’m very happy to say it was featured in a terrifically popular weekly newsletter of interesting things on the internet. As a result of this, over TEN THOUSAND people have seen the piece over the last three days. That’s over TEN THOUSAND people who are now aware of 888Ladies online bingo!
Result!
So, under the circumstances, I was wondering if you might like to offer me substantially more than our previously agreed $80. I have a friend who works in online marketing – and I use the word ‘friend’ loosely, if not entirely incorrectly – and he says you should probably give me at least a couple of bags of sand for that kind of exposure. I am willing to negotiate, however. The fact is, my rent is due in just a few days, so I’d be prepared to settle for £500 (about $800) if you can make the payment before the 17th.
What do you say? Are you going to do the honourable thing?
If I haven’t heard from you by Wednesday, I shall most probably write to you again.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Cheers!
Stan
...and nothing. It was fun while it lasted, but now it appears to be over. Unless you can think of any more ways to antagonise Mr Brown, I think we're done.
Now, what about that Barbara Ellen, eh? What a nincompoop.
8 comments:
I love Guardian urls. "vanessa-george-paedophiles-barbara-ellen" is even funnier if you pretend "paedophiles" is a verb.
Oh please don't stop antagonising him yet. I'll donate if you keep it up - or can't you get everyone reading your blog to email Mr Brown complaining about his shoddy treatment of you?
I'll donate a fiver for a laugh, a tenner if you manager to get a response from Mr Brown.
Love the blog.
Please don't leave Mr Brown alone just yet. It's very rude of him to approach you with a business proposal and then stop writing after you put in all that work.
Maybe you should write directly to Cassava, letting them know that someone acting on their behalf is giving them a bad name?
Hi
I found this blog thanks to the power of twitter. Last night, while feeling particularly sorry for myself, I read all your blog entries. I literally LOL'd. You're a superb wordsmith and now a firm favourite.
Thanks.
Hmmm, I don't know about all this antogonizing Mr Brown business. I'm not judging (for once) but it does seem that you've got too much time on your hands if you're really sending him all these emails. Shouldn't you just get over it? Then again, I'm not even really sure you are sending these emails.
As regards this Barbara Ellen woman, she has *kinda* got a point. I mean, I look at porn from time to time (not kiddie porn, I hasten to add!) but I would never do it if I didn't have my own access to the internet. It just doesn't interest me all that much. There probably *is* a subset of people viewing child pornography who were only vaguely perverted before the advent of the interest. On the other hand, it's not like child abuse is a new phenomenon. It's just become more obvious these days. I'd say the vast majority of people who sexually abuse children would have found some way to do it, internet or no internt. So, um, yeah, I suppose you were right - Barbara Ellen is a daft bint.
What I've always found fascinating, though, is how these people meet. I mean, how on earth do people establish they've got a common interest in paedophilia? It's not the kind of thing you usually have on your Facebook "Interests" profile really!
If you get another response from him that is full of giggles - I put in another £10 :)
UPDATE: My sources tell me Top Promotions no longer work on the account. So I rescind my offer of £10 for a response from Thomas.. :P
So let me get this straight: you had an agreement and since you did a good job on your end you want to re-negotiate the amount you agreed to--from your end after the fact?!?!?!?
I wouldn't respond to your emails either.
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