bulk :: 17st 4
cigarettes smoked :: 0
units of alcohol imbibed :: 12
runs run :: 1
swims swum :: 1
realistic vaginas purchased :: 0
sofas sacrificed to misguided altruism :: 0
chocolate eggs purchased :: 5
chocolate eggs eaten :: 0 (but there is still time)
tears wept for Christ :: 0
I don’t know about you, but I hate Easter. Or at least I used to, when I was a kid. It was never a time of chocolate-bingeing and egg-painting for me, as it apparently was for other kids. It was a time for recognising what dreadful unworthy sinners we all were, a time for rubbing my nose in the blood of Christ and generally feeling rotten about life.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2326cOItfUxhaIe0NiOXFVosIgsxmc6CRxc6gyTTux4rMN1GEafMkSnojugN2FTaVCXKFTwMcnuv8CNcieZAaeL6cpxkgTKPXucgueXrlozrprWtfk9OwsXSK6cmvhFJ-LeIbE56axztn/s400/jesus_christ_crucified_passion_christ.jpg)
In my opinion, both of my parents were severely mentally ill, and their hard core Catholicism was just one aspect of that. Anyhow, as soon as I was brave enough to lapse – when I was 13 – I lapsed.
I’ve never really bothered with Easter since then.
This year however, I’ve bought masses of chocolate and Easter booze and I intend to celebrate like a proper hedonistic heathen. This Easter is all about earthly pleasures and absolutely nothing more. To hell with Jesus.
On with the mini eggs!
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizNWiUlAbgm8cPszb3p0xjIBDzJrxRN1MADwxPvIkons9Ph-Vqs63MAyLIki1jR8YLp1hVbmnHs5Wm4YMwBiJjjLMNCkk5GumXP0VPjBX3mGN0AJRSrGQ2dtrgt48Hqo6cgKYxVAJEEL7e/s400/minieggs.jpg)
4 comments:
Ah, Eastre, another excellent Pagan festival celebrating sex, drugs and booze; stolen and ruined by the Christians. Let's take it back, I say (my parents took the fertility part of it very seriously back in '75).
I can't bear it - a weekend of FOUR Sundays!
*Descends into the Long Dark Tea Time of the Soul*
I couldn't agree more, sir.
Merry Hanukah!
i kept eating my secret stash of chocolate mini eggs and now .. on the eve of ... M&S have RUN OUT of those fine milk chocolate sugar-coated bombes. I had to buy a brown tractor instead.
Happy err, Boozing and Noshing
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