bulk :: 16st 5 (Bollocks bollocks bollocks)
alcohol units imbibed :: 12
cigarettes smoked :: 0 (Hurray!)
joints smoked :: 0
runs run :: 0
swims swum :: 0
writing jobs accepted :: 4
grieving friends comforted :: 1
silver linings :: 1
Typically, just as I’d decided to devote more time to writing stuff that interests me, I got offered a lot more work writing stuff that doesn’t interest me. Which I would be a lunatic to turn down. This means that my entire week has been eaten whole by deadlines. Except for the small part of it which has been dedicated to helping Ange come to terms with the death of her mum.
I never met Ange’s mum, but by all accounts she was a wonderful woman. She’d been ill for a while and she suffered a second stroke last weekend. Then, just as she was recovering from that, she suffered a fatal heart attack. Ange was there when she died. She took it hard, blamed herself, got drunk, had sex with a stranger, cried during the sex, ran home in the middle of the night without any knickers and took the week off work. Then she phoned me on Tuesday in tears. Mutual schoolfriend Karen was also there by the time I arrived. I spent the rest of the week popping back when possible to keep her from beating herself up and helping her arrange the funeral.
The funeral is on Sunday.
Oh, and next Thursday, I am going speed dating. I booked it on a whim, a bottle of wine and a prayer, before I could talk myself out of it.
So next week at least, should be interesting. This week however, all told, has been rotten. I had so many things I wanted to get on with and I couldn’t get on with any of them. One interesting thing however: I received an email from Sally (she of the silver eyes and Araki obsession), asking me how I am. I haven’t replied yet. Because I am cool.
If you’re still reading this, Sally, how do you fancy coming to a funeral on Sunday? Go on, it'll be dead good.
Now I must work.
How very very dull of me.
Have a great weekend, everyone.
RIP Sylvia.
9 comments:
God. Funerals. I've had enough of those for this year. Good luck.
Puss
Ugh, shit week; sorry to hear it. Wish I could brighten it with that translation, but we are still trying to unbury ourselves from the chaos here. I promise I haven't forgotten about it!
Reads like you are doing well on the weight loss front, BDJ, sorry to hear week has been a little hairy but Sally is good news and speed dating, like fast food, takes the true delight out of life...
XO
WWW
You should draw a picture of a squirrel and email it to Sally. She will love it.
Honestly, Bete, having a life is no excuse.
I come here for the high quality tales of cat porn and tree sap based hallucinations and when I don't get them I get tetchy.
Tsk.
Speed dating, hmm?
You'd better leave your brains, your love of eloquent prose and your instinct for a well-crafted bon mot at home, then.
I tried it once. And I ended up at the only table that was avoided for most of the evening. News spread that there was at that table a female in possession of a couple of switched-on brain cells and healthy sarcasm. I did try to be nice, honest, but faced with such dim offshoots of Western masculinity who thought they were doing me a favour - well, what's a girl meant to do? Simper?
Are you sure you want to do this? You seem far too - well, just too damned pleasant to want to subject yourself to this. Be catlike. Go roll around in the sun for a while... better yet, go find yourself a park and a squirrel or two!
Is 16st 5lb the combined weight of your three bollocks, or are they each that big?
My mate went speed-hating recently. Like speed-dating, but where you're only allowed to discuss things you hate.
Thanks, Puss. It was OK in the end though, and strangely life-affirming.
Cheers, Caroline. Don't worry. Whenever you're ready!
Hey, WWW. I must say I'm glad I don't have to go through with the speed dating this time. I'm nervous enough about meeting one woman.
Monkeyman, great idea. It's done.
Luka, I'm sorry I'm letting you down. I'll up my game next week, I promise. Less work, more play.
But Shimacat, you proved that occasionally interesting people do go speed dating, didn't you? Yes, you did. If I do end up going, I'll be keeping my eyes peeled for the rogue brain.
Mr Footman, you are being very silly. Although the thought of three 16-stone testicles is sticking with me.
Mr Teabag, speed-hating actually sounds like an excellent idea. You could get to know a person really well from discussing their hatreds. I'm going to look into that. Cheers.
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