Thursday, 30 October 2008

An Apology :: Updated

I would like to offer a personal and unreserved apology to Courgette, and by extension, to all those offended by yesterday’s blogpost. It is clear from the views expressed by the public that this post caused severe offence and, on reflection, I can see why.

I am deeply sorry and greatly regret the upset and distress that my juvenile and thoughtless remarks and actions have caused. Patronising and sexually harassing Courgette was bad enough; attempting to make light of the act in a public retelling displayed an unforgivable amount of self-regard, not to mention perversity, misogyny and outright inhumanity. The whole thing was a stupid error of judgement on my part and I offer a full apology.

Although there were certain crucial embellishments and omissions in the retelling of the tale, I make no excuses. I chose my words and must stand – or fall – by them.

I am however at pains to point out that I bear no Courgette ill will, and whilst she may not have known the name of the current Prime Minister of England, or had any understanding of how immigration is used by both the media and politicians as a means of manipulating and coercing the general public, I have absolutely no doubt that she is a warm, kind, sweet, special and spiritually sound human being, morally beyond reproach and certainly a lot nicer than I ever could be.

I realise that my thoughts were an affront to public taste and should never have been published in the first place. I have sent a full and unequivocal apology to Courgette, along with a large bunch of flowers and a Cabbage Patch Doll. (She likes them! Honest.)


Today’s scheduled post has been suspended until further notice.

...

Update

This is just a little note for some readers of this blog – not stupid readers, no, that is definitely NOT what I’m saying, merely American – who clearly didn’t make the connection between this post and a little story that’s been clogging up the newspapers over here for the last week. I wouldn’t mention it normally, as I quite like the idea of people floundering around in the dark (because I’m sinister), but I’m being mistaken for being noble, and that will never do.

See? In the cold light of day, I’m not sorry at all.

Well, maybe a bit.



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28 comments:

Aiko said...

Anyone would think you've offended a celebrity! I wasn't offended by your post. It made me smile, which is good. Do keep blogging if you can, you're great at it, I love your way with words.
xxx

KK said...

Well, I think Bete has shown a scrap of decency here. The apology is not enough. The real question is who was responsible for approving the post and allowing it to be "surfed". I suspect the man who goaded him on in the first place, the man behind the man- Kieth the artist. His name may not be Kieth but we want his head!

Outraged said...

The whole incident perfectly illustrates the moral vacumn at the centre of blogging. Why Bete is still posting is beyond me, as are the views of people defending him.

Furthermore, would it not be a good thing if Bete would commit to 6months full time, (60hrs) unpaid WORK in an old folks or childrens home in the UK.

If this does not take his fancy, then perhaps he could clear off to another country for a good long time.

The majority say 'PUT OUT THE TRASH'!

Anonymous said...

GET OVER IT!! GET A LIFE, THIS IS NOT A BIG DEAL, ACCEPT THE APOLOGY AND MOVE ON WITH UR LIFE. YOU SIMPLY HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO SO U ARE JUMPING ON THIS PATHETIC STORY!! WHO CARES?? IT WAS A JOKE!!! ITS FUNNY!!! MY GOODNESS NO ONE HAS A SENSE OF HUMOR ANYMORE!! GO AND READ A BIBLE OR SOMETHING, JESUS' 2ND COMING IS NEAR, GO FOCUS ON THAT!!!!

Appalled said...

I can only endorse earlier comments. My wife and I always used to enjoy reading Bete on his Friday night posts until he started to talk smutty. We dont read them now. I now think he is just a total numbskull and a mis-fit, totally without talent and should not have been blogging let alone paid a wage for what he does. However, its not just these two, its all the so-called stars of current blogs.
How can we expect respect from the youth of today when this is what they see and hear on the country's now infamous weblogs. No wonder the country is in the state its in, strikes me that there are just as many mis-guided fat-cats in this media business as in the money market, until recently that is. My late parents would be absolutely disgusted with the Bete's blog as I am sure many others are with this absolute filth. Sack him I say."

Maynard said...

Looks like the Mail readers have cottoned on!

;-)

Avitable said...

Clearly you have offended the whole of humanity. I think suicide may be your only option now. Hari-kiri away.

daisyfae said...

huh? it's your fucking blog. write what's on your mind. your post was an "in the moment/i've just been burned by a woman" story... sorry, but if folks are offended, it's not as though there aren't a million fucking "happy" blogs out there, glurging us into politically correct rainbows and sunshine...

Misssy M said...

I don't think you've gone far enough. I want you sacked and paraded in the street for us, the licence payers, to throw fruit at.

Anonymous said...

Qué?

Ann Anon

Selena said...

Apology accepted, except I think if you really wanted to make things right- you'd buy us all Cabbage Patch dolls. It's the right thing to do.

jealouscelebritybandwagon said...

I think Louis Walsh is a c**t. I just want people to know that. It is relevant.

archivedmusicpress said...

Haha! Very good.

Selena said...

Wow you're offending all of humanity now and people want you exiled from the blogosphere; plus, you have/(had?) a cyber stalker! People now think you're the devil incarnate-I'd say that means you're doing something right...;-)

Bete, hang in there- weather this storm of exaggerated outrage! Your book deal, reality TV show and autobiographical movie are on the way.

All joking aside- it is your blog and it reflects you- whoever you are. Even if who you are (at the present moment) reminds me of a bad, bad, man from a Hardy Novel.

What you wrote may have been insensitive, mysoginistic and snobbish, but it doesn't change the fact that it was well written. The piece evoked emotion, which, I like to think is any writers' or artist's goal.

"I suspect the man who goaded him on in the first place, the man behind the man- Kieth the artist. His name may not be Kieth but we want his head!"

WOWIE ZOWIE.. let's leave Not Keith out of it, shall we? The poor guy, minds his business over on his own blog and there's no need to call for his head ;-)

<3 xxoo l-o- fricking-l!

I'm sending calming aromatherapy candles to everyone.

entertainment_junkie said...

Wowie Zowie indeed. His head shall not be called for. But 12 weeks suspension?! How will I survive the winter? I'm so cold...

Anonymous said...

WON'T SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!!!!!!!!!!

Eloise said...

Meh. Even the people with their tongues in their cheeks seem to be taking this a mite seriously, no? But, as Courgette would say, like whatever.

I don't really see admitting to a boner as sexual harassment (though I suppose these things are all contextual) and I have no fucking idea if Courgette is a better human being than you will ever be. But comment whoring means people actually telling you what they think, including if they think you're being a disrespectful twat. Is the nature of blogging, innit? Now let's all calm down and have a cup of tea. And laugh at Russell Brand. Now there's a twat...

Anonymous said...

why do people feel the need to complain about every little fucking thing??, this is his blog if he want to write stuff like that fair enough it was crude but that his choice and his opinion, makes me laugh that all of a sudden people have morals about this shit, here's an idea if you don't like, don't read, simple as that.

Tim Footman said...

The question is, it it more or less reprehensible to insult a member of the Satanic Sluts (whose grandpa happens to be famous for saying "¿Que?" and catching fire) or a big-knockered hairdresser from Burnley?

Lauren said...

um... if someone was offended they shouldn't read the blog. idiots. sorry bete, what a gentleman you are with your apology - but... who in the world was offended?

Anonymous said...

I recently started university and met someone on a similar course to mine who didn't know what the holocaust was.....

True Story. Its a sad world we live in.

Non, Je ne regrette rien said...

What a load of tripe. Fucking-A, it IS your blog and I say readers beware! If some candy-asses need a binky, let'em buy one.

And let all and sundry comment, good and bad, Bete .. roll with it. Trying to please people will never do.

Apologize for excellent writing and a hilarious episode? NEVER! Off with your head for that, not for your blog post!

(and as far as the troll comments ... ignore them, they'll slink back under their respective bridges...)

Boz said...

Darling, a job offer from the BBC Press Office can only be minutes away...

Maynard said...

A timely update Bete. I did have a little chuckle at the expense of our cross-Atlantic friends who didn't get the parody. I suppose they miss the 'Daily Mail readers' joke too.

Best regards to all.

Angelalala said...

Heehee. I like when you're evil.

wv: mengram - a machine that squashes men between two cold metal plates in order to find lumpy bits.

Non, Je ne regrette rien said...

okay, well don't I feel silly. And American. But on the other hand ... you guys actually READ the Daily Mail?

Fuck, I hate it when I look like a twit.

Selena said...

That is pretty funny! Whoops! Is Russell Brand such a big deal over there.- I vaguely know of him from Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

Mina McKay said...

I wasnt offended either. So she was cute but not your type. Meh. I would feel the same way about men who are "sports nuts". I hate sports and cant understand why people find it entertaining, I really prefer the intellectual type. Not that jocks cant be...but you know. I just dont get it. Anyway, no offense was taken on my part. :)


Wow a lot of people here seem to be really butthurt. Get over it. Cripes!