Scat: So did you have a nice weekend?
Yeah, it was OK.
Scat: Where did you go?
Morag: Just stayed here in the end.
Scat: What, you didn’t go anywhere?
Scat: So what did you do?
Morag: My friend came to see me here.
Scat: Ah. OK.
You’re not making this very easy.
Scat: OK. So be it. So this friend, was it a lady friend or a gentleman caller?
Morag: His name is Christ. I used to work with him. I’ve known him for a while.
Scat: His name is Christ?
Morag: Oops. I mean Chris. Sorry. I always put an extra ‘t’ on the end of Christ when I’m typing it.
It's like a finger-tick.
Scat: So did you fuck him?
Did you fuck Christ?
Morag: You sure you want to know?
Scat: I think I already do, don’t I?
Morag: Yeah, we had sex.
Scat: Cool. I’m happy for you.
Scat: Was it any good?
Morag: Yeah, I enjoyed it. Thanks.
Scat: Not at all. I’m pleased for you.
Morag: How was your weekend?
Scat: Shit, thanks.
Morag: I’m sorry, Stan.
How did it go with your dad?
Scat: Hey, no worries. Is he good looking, this Christ fellow?
Morag: Yeah, he‘s quite good looking.
Scat: Brilliant. Very pleased. Smiling all over my face for you now.
Morag: Oh come on. You’re not even that ugly yourself.
All this ugly stuff is such an overblown pile of shite.
Scat: I’VE BEEN SPAT ON!
Morag: AND I’VE BEEN HEAD-BUTTED! AND IT DOESN’T MEAN A FUCKING THING!!!
All it means is there are some arseholes in this world.
Get over it.
Scat: You get over it.
Morag: Oh, don't be childish.
Scat: You don't be childish.
Morag: Right OK Stan. I think I better go.
Scat: Wait wait wait don’t go.
Scat: Are you going to see me again?
Morag: I’m not sure that’s such a good idea at the moment.
Morag: Let’s just see how things pan out.
Scat: What about Christ? Will you be seeing a bit more of Christ?
Morag: I don’t know, Stan.
Scat: Look, I don’t know how this is like suddenly a big deal. It’s really not, you know. We’re just fuck buddies. We WERE just fuck buddies, whatever, I’m over it. Just be straight with me, I can take it.
Morag: Yes then. I think we’re going to give it a go. He’s been interested in me for a while.
Sorry sorry sorry.
That just slipped out of my fingers.
Scat: Fucking shit.
Morag: Look, I’d better go.
Scat: Let’s still chat a bit. I promise I’ll be OK. You can still teach me French. Hm?
Morag: OK, we’ll see. I got to go.
Scat: OK. Have fun.
Don’t become a stranger.
Comment whoring :: How is it possible that I - a fairly intelligent human being - can be such an incredible arsehole?