Tuesday, 14 October 2008

The Ringo Starr Jumble Appeal

Ringo Starr, everyone’s favourite surviving Beatle after Paul McCartney, has filmed a short message for his fans. It’s here on the front page of his site.

Wow. What a grouch. Why couldn't he be nice about it? He seems to be under the impression that by adopting a kind of ‘peace and love’ Tourette’s, he can disguise what a thoroughly unpleasant old-man-in-a-mood he is.

This is why I am in complete agreement with Eggymark, a YouTube commenter who says:

After the 20th October - start sending what you can, he's obviously desperate for fan mail. I’ve never sent him anything, and was surprised to see he is still alive - but I’m organising a crate of jumble for the old boy to cheer him up.

Help Eggymark irritate this already dangerously crabby millionaire. Send what you can:

Ringo Starr
1541 Ocean Avenue
Suite 200
Santa Monica, CA

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dan said...

Yeah Ringo, as if saying 'Peace and Love, Peace and Love' magically makes you sound like a reasonable peace loving hippy instead of a miserable old twat. How John must be spinning...

Joanne said...

Oh dear. Ringo was lovely when Marge Simpson wrote to him as well...

I don't quite understand the point of Ringo Starr's video plea, other than to make people dislike him even more. Presumably most celebs don't respond to most of their fan mail in the first place anyway.

42 said...

Dear Mr. Starr,

Two words for you, Mr. Cranky Twat, and they ain't happy birthday!

Peace and Love,


Beth said...

Until today it would never have occurred to me to write to Ringo Starr...you don't think that's what he really wants do you? Is he trying reverse psychology on us?

Anonymous said...

The Beatles are dying in the wrong order.

Ann Anon

La Bête said...

Peace and love, peace and love. I must have watched that video about 600 times now. I've become weirdly attached to Ringo's mellifluous tones. He's really really weird. I can't believe he got away with doing some proper acting back in the day. If you look at him in this ad for example, he's beyond diabolical. Listen to how he pronounces the sentence "I think I can convince them." It's truly astonishing.

And why does he always wear tinted lenses? What's he hiding?

Yes, Beth, I think it definitely is reverse psychology. He's desperate for mail. No one has written to him for years.

Do it.

La Bête said...

Ann, you're absolutely right. So who's next? It's actually Ringo, isn't it? Paul will live forever, ever more jowelly and ever-easier listening. Ugh. Viva Ringo!

The Princess said...

And I thought that Paul was the bigger cunt!

Anastasia said...

I'm trying to get over the merchandise he is selling on his site.
I think the best Beatle was George Harrison; he wasn't up his own arse and didn't crave the limelight with whore-like vigor. He didn't pretend to be a post modern 'revolutionary' for more publicity.

Miss Snuffleupagus said...

Ringo Starr is a very lucky man. The most mediocre drummer in the history of music. Now, if he were (the late) Keith Moon, then I'd be fine, but Starr is just overrated.

Michael said...

It really is hard to imagine McCartney actually dying.

BPP said...

I have a sneaking suspicion that Ringo's attempting to break the most fan mail in a week record.

caroline said...

I love that he says 'if it arrives after that, it's gonna be tossed',which rather confirms what we already knew.Ringo Starr is a tosser.Always has been, always will be.

La Bête said...

Princess, you have such a way with words.

Agreed on George, Anastasia. He seemed like a thoroughly decent bloke.

He can’t possibly realise how lucky he is, Snuffie. He’s so mediocre that he makes Meg White look like a this guy.

Aw, come on, Michael. If you try really hard, I’m sure you can.

BPP, let’s make it happen! I wish I could actually be arsed. If I sent something special delivery, he’d have to sign for it, right? Oh, that’s tempting. Just send him a huge, billboard-sized poster which reads, ‘SORRY TO WASTE YOUR TIME, RINGO. PLEASE TOSS.’

Caroline. Yes. Yes indeed.